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thread: Who would you leave your kids with?

  1. #19
    Registered User
    Add madamerogers on Facebook

    Jun 2008
    in gorgeous rural victoria<
    367

    In our will at the moment, it is my parents. Dh's parents would take financial care of our estate and my folks the kids. My parents are in their early 50's and dh's in their mid 60's so it was the logical choice for us.
    My sisters are to young and inexperienced and i just dont think the right ones, SIL has 2 kids and i wouldnt want to burden them with 2 more and the financial part also, although thats what the estate is for, BIL is in perth, us in melb so i think it is just too far from my family.
    Will re assess in a few years im sure
    tough decision, but you never know what is around the corner
    x all the best x

  2. #20
    BellyBelly Member
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    Sep 2008
    bunbury WA
    2,114

    I would like my mum to have them but the thing I hate to think about is DSs father wanting him and him being seperated from his sisters

  3. #21
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Mar 2008
    Vic
    4,806

    It's in our will that it would be my mum and stepdad. We knew that if something happened to us, they would take DD and she would be comfortable and secure there. We didn't want her to be uprooted again to move in with someone else. We are really close with my extended family on my dad's side, and we knew that mum would ensure that DD would still see all of them frequently. This was really important to us.

    I think it's really important to write it down. Your wishes are really really important and once it's written down in a legal fashion, it would be very difficult to dispute.

  4. #22
    Registered User

    Feb 2006
    Newcastle, NSW
    4,219

    If it were to happen tomorrow, they would probably go to my Mum. Otherwise I would love for them to go to my brother & SIL.

    If it were to happen 10 or so years in the future, I think my older 2 children would look after the younger ones.

  5. #23
    Registered User

    Apr 2010
    Townsville
    2,832

    TBH we haven't talked about it yet.
    I would like my brother and SIL however they have 3 kids and another one on the way and wouldn't have the finances to take on another child. The 4th is going to be hard enough!!
    So in that Case I would maybe want my parents to look after her, the only problem with that is my dad has hep C and can get very cranky easily and I wouldn't want him yelling at her the way he did to me when I was younger.

    I wouldn't want DH's parents because I feel they wouldn't raise her the way I want her to be raised... I have no idea what DH thinks though and I know my MIL would probably be upset if my parents became the carers of our children... But that wouldn't matter because we wouldn't be here to cop it! Lol.

    I'm glad this came up because we obviously need to talk about it and let the people know!!!

  6. #24
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    In a castle with my princesses
    1,057

    My bro and SIL will get girls. As much as I do not want to think about it, they are the best choice.
    Again *touch wood* I never have to go there.

  7. #25
    BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
    Add Gigi on Facebook

    Jun 2004
    The Festival State
    3,008

    bilby has no godparents
    she has one grandma (in an aged care facility with adv. dementia)
    if i died tomorrow, she would go to her father
    if we both died tomorrow, i have no clue what would happen to her, prolly ward of the state i guess.
    too horrible to think about

  8. #26
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Adelaide
    1,488

    DD would go to DH's sister and husband. My parents are both deceased and PIL are in their 60s. They don't have kids of their own yet, but even if they did they're our only choice. We have spoken to them about it but have yet to put it on paper.

    They currently live 400km away and I am concerned about my brother losing touch with DD if I was gone. But I feel I can trust DDs godmother to keep in touch with her and I think she'd facilitate contact between my brother and SIL. She'd also be our backup guardian if SIL and BIL couldn't do it for whatever reason.

  9. #27
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Hork-Bajir Valley
    5,722

    This is a really good thread LMS cause it's something people don't really talk about but something that they should, and its something that alot of thought needs to go into.
    Dh and I haven't talked about it cause we don't have kids together yet, but is something we will do.

    Sent via my vortex manipulator

  10. #28

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    Thanks Teirae

    Our first choice is his dad and step mum but because they travel and they dont have a stable living arrangement i just dont see her having a stable home. Both our mums have been there and done that. My sisters are out of the question, for now as they both dont have stable lives. My brother is too young. His sisters i just dont think they could afford to take on another child but have no doubt that they will help out whoever gets her and be there for her. DD is very close to my bestfriend but she still lives with her parents and has a boyfriend who doesnt like kids so i don't want to burden her (which i know i wouldnt be but YKWIM?) so that leaves his best mate and wife.

  11. #29
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    In a castle with my princesses
    1,057

    I would like my mum to have them but the thing I hate to think about is DSs father wanting him and him being seperated from his sisters
    This would NEVER happen. He could not do it. He can not manage a week let alone a lifetime. I would kidnap DS before *he* gets him.

  12. #30
    Registered User

    Jan 2011
    677

    My job is writing wills, you can put who you would like to be gaurdian of your children in a will but by no means is it legally binding! It just means when push cones to shove and it goes to court to be decided that they will take into account what your wishes for it doesn't specifically mean it will go to that person, you should also make the person you want to be guardian of your infant children as one of your executors, if you trist them enough to have your children you should trust them enough with your money!!!

    I have my brother and his wife as mine such a hard hard choice though!!!!!

  13. #31
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Taking a ride on my grdonkey :D
    2,716

    My parents, for sure. They're pretty much all we've got. DH's parents are gone and our brothers (mine and DH's) are far too young and stupid to be caring for children - I won't even let my brother babysit either of my DDs and DH's brother would never ask (he's just 18 and can think of far better things to do with his time than be around toddlers - riding his motorbike and drinking with his mates over a few video games are just a couple of suggestions). In the future, I probably would still prefer my parents over our siblings as I just don't ever see my brother getting his act together (nor would I want my girls around his partner for any length of time...), and if BIL keeps up the way he's going with avoiding contact with us if at all possible, he will be a stranger to his nieces
    Luckily my parents are still relatively young and have a great relationship with the girls - they see nanna and poppy at least 3 times a week, usually more, and go for sleepovers once every couple of months (it's usually pretty frequent on school hols when Mum's off work for a few weeks). They wear my parents out and while I may not agree 100% with their parenting philosophies, I know my olds would do a much better job raising my babies than anybody else I can think of. And really, when your choices are so slim, parenting methods/philosophies are certainly not at the top of my priority list in choosing a suitable guardian!

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