Danni - I know the feeling of worrying if the girls crying will annoy someone. I have found that that is mainly because of the attitude Dad has, and most people aren't that fussed. I have learned to to stand up for myself and them, and if we are with dad and he is huffing and making it obvious that he doesnt like it, I have reached the point of saying 'Well obviously I am not doing a good enough job of understanding what she needs so you can try to settle her'. It works. It also makes you feel better because other people are unikely to settle her if you can't, so proves you are not a faliure.

Knowing that M has the history of PND (yes guys do get it) you can ask him to be extra mindful and seek help when he is feeling low. He may know his triggers now and be able to take evasive action when needed to stop him from going down that dark road again.

I know you have been seeing a counsellor, maybe you need to look into debriefing your birth. I know it was an incredibly hard birth and then Jazz going into Neonates didn't help how you were feeling either.

I still worry about poo and spew, and now with Sarah in knickers I worry that she will need to wee when I have no access to a toilet, but preparation is the key with that. I am sure every mum worries about those things.