It's actually surprisingly easy with the poo, even my DH does it!
Yeah, you just scrape it off into the loo first. You might need to rinse them before popping them in the bucket if they're really soiled.
I don't wash with our normal clothes, but only because I wash the nappies every 2nd day, and our clothes only once a week (bonus of having a large washing machine).
Also with fleece covers (if you choose to use them) you don't need to wash them after each use. If bub has only done a wee, then air dry them, and re-use.
A BBH party sounds like a great idea.