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Thread: FF Frowns

  1. #19

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    CM - I have been FF my bubs since day 4 and tried everything - expressing after and in between feeds, latching, multiple meds and clinics - I even had his very minor tongue-tie snipped.



    I found that if I put him on then I'd still have to FF him after. If you want Ryan to be on the boob, then try, but for your own reasons - I like bushwalking so that was my motivation to keep trying. Although I never could solely FF him, I did give the closeness it gave me, and also sometimes it was the only thing that would stop him crying.

    Maybe if you try just BF first thing in the morning only, and do that for a few days, top up with FF after - see how you go. If nothing else, it may keep Ryan quiet while you're still waking up

  2. #20

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    WHAT!!! how could a Dr b so heartless. I would say something 2 her about bedside manner and if it didn't improve, find another Dr!!

  3. #21

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    CM - i would just find another DR pronto!!! That's disgusting!!! I would definitely follow through with a complaint, as far as I could take it!!

    I am PG with my 1st and i don't know whether i WILL be able to BF or not and i would certainly NEVER judge another! That's terrible! The way i see it, as long as your baby is happy and healthy then that's all there is to it!! What's the point of BF if your bub isn't getting enough milk or you are is such pain that you hate every second of it.. isn't it meant to be enjoyable?!?!

    chin up luv and tell them all to mind their own business!!

    xxx

  4. #22

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    CelticMoon - I am so sorry that you have had to put up with that from your doctor. This is the way I see it (and this is coming from someone who also had difficulties with BF and is now FF so no judgement here whatsoever). If you feel you would like to keep trying with BF, then do that (but only because YOU want to, not because you feel pressured). You may have regrets and 'what ifs' later if you feel, for whatever reason, that perhaps you gave up too soon. If, however, you really can't face it and it is damaging the bond with your baby, then maybe it's not for you.

    In either case, I'd encourage you to ring the Australian Breastfeeding Association and speak to a counsellor. I begrudgingly rang one of their counsellors just to shut up a relative who was a friend of the counsellor. I thought they would be really gung ho about breastfeeding and really shove that down my throat. They're not. They really understand that breastfeeding can be difficult and the lady I spoke to just listened to all the dramas I had. If you want to try to keep going they are the best pepole to speak to. If you just want to vent a little and talk through some of the problems, they will listen to that too. And as the counsellor said to me, "breastfeeding is not the be all and end all of being a good mother."

    I know it's VERY difficult but don't let that one doctor make you feel terrible.

  5. #23

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    My God. I can't believe there are medical professionals out there who behave this way. I shouldn't be surprised - I copped an awful lot of negative feedback from my DD's paed and first GP when I made the switch to formula, although nothing as bad as what you got. I would be yelling all the way to the person in charge - that is disgusting behaviour that is not only unprofessional but completely inaccurate!! For example, there is evidence saying BF reduces the chance of asthma. There has also just recently been a study finalised by Melbourne and Adelaide "experts" saying that BF mums can actually INCREASE their baby's chance of getting asthma in later childhood if there is asthma in the family. Just one example of how conflicting the "experts" advice on these things are.

    Please please please please please don't listen to this person. Go to another medical professional - one you feel comfortable with (I went to my own GP and got the support that was missing from others). As I said in my earlier post, if YOU choose to try relactating for YOU then fabulous. I wish you all the luck in the world. But please don't be guilted into doing something that you simply don't want to do (for your own very valid reasons) by people who don't live with you and your son every hour of every day.

    This attitude to formula feeding makes me so incredibly angry. The percentage of formula fed babies is huge - and there is no way each and every one of them has the learning disabilities, asthma, allergies, increased sickness that we are supposedly cursing our children with because for whatever reason we choose to FF. There will always be babies and children who don't do as well as their siblings or peers. That's life. There are a million reasons for it and simply blaming everything on FF is ridiculous.

    I said in a previous post that was later removed that my DH was FF from birth. His IQ is in the genius range. He is an exceptional sportsman in just about any sport he tries (makes me very jealous!!). He has travelled the world, is well read, is an accomplished pianist. Basically, the most well rounded individual I have ever met. FF was not my first choice for my daughter, but we've been dealt the hand we have. I do not however have any concerns about the supposed damage FF will do to her. My hope is she "suffers" just as much as her daddy has done from a FF start to life.

    Sorry for the long post but I really feel for you. I've been in your shoes and its totally unfair. The ONLY thing that matters here is that you and your baby boy are happy and healthy - mentally, physically and emotionally. I truly hope you start receiving the support you deserve.

  6. #24

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    Celtic Moon, I've just had my baby and found myself in the exact same position as yourself. Madeline is now 4 weeks old and i've got her on formula, and she has been on formula since week 2. She's happy, healthy and putting on weight, and thats all i need to know. Like you, I tried and tried and tried to breastfeed Maddie but it was just not happening. I totally beat myself up about it, and everyone (midwifes, family) putting in their two cents worth did not help me at all, it just made me so upset, guilty and i felt that i had already failed as a mother. My advice to you is to stick to formula feeding, breast feeding is not for everyone, and remember there are a tonne of children in the world that are formula fed - i was formula fed and here I am today happy and healthy!! Of course I agree breast feeding is more beneficial to your baby, but what can you do. If it hurts like hell (and I totally know what you mean) dont force it. You have given it a good go, at least you did that. Trust me your baby will be fine on formula. And finally can I just add, it gets me so angry that people (especially the midwives) push it on others that they must breast feed otherwise harm will come to the baby, what a load of rubbish, do what feels right for you and bub ok! Knowing what I know now, i would have just FF right from the start

  7. #25

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    I had a call from a lactation consultant/counsellor today at the request of my community nurse to talk to me about what the dr said. She is going to come see me monday to just have a chat and see how I am going as I was balling my eyes out on the phone to the nurse so I suppose they want to make sure I'm not going to throw myself off a cliff or something over my boobs lol. She was very for formula and for woman wanting to do both and said there is no evidence of what the dr said being true. Just feels like everytime I start to go 'yep FF is for us, I'm happy with it' someone comes along and makes me doubt myself all over again

  8. #26

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    CM - take it as an opportunity to put the heel into your doctor

  9. #27
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    OMG LuluHB, I can't believe that woman actually had the gall to say that to you! Are people really that rude once you have a baby that they think its a free for all and can say whatever they feel like??

    CelticMoon, I'm sure you're the best mum! My heart breaks that people think they know best when really they have no idea. Keep doing whatever works for you! And as to that rude Dr, bless your CHN for standing up to her and putting in a complaint on your behalf! I bet she doesn´t even have kids of her own!

  10. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by CelticMoon View Post
    Just feels like everytime I start to go 'yep FF is for us, I'm happy with it' someone comes along and makes me doubt myself all over again
    I know exactly what you mean. Dont let others peoples opinions influence you. Do what feels right for you and bub. Dont feel bad about it if you decide not to breastfeed.

  11. #29

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    Hi, I've dropped into this convo a bit late, sorry

    My exp is a little dif, my bub couldn't be bf until he learnt how to suck. (born at 30wks) I expressed for him, and we started to Bf when he was about 5wks. It was going ok. I had heaps of milk and he was doing really well. But I never got the chance to fully bf before we were sent home. I persevered (sp?) He was 6 wks old when discharged, I bf him until he was about 3.5 months, then I had problems, he would just spew it up. We also moved house about this time (which is the 2nd most stressful thing to do!) I saw my dr and he told me no way, do not put him on formula just put up with it basically. I wasn't getting any sleep I was pretty much feeding all the time, he was never satisfied. I finally decided no more and started formula top-ups, whiched worked for about a week, until he decided he liked the formula better!! My family was the meanest they'd ever been, after all the support and everything while in hospital now this. My mum kept asking me why?, which only upset me more. I kept getting comments like poor baby. WHAT ABOUT ME?????????

    I don't care anymore, he's being fed and hes happy and thats all that matters. That's the way I see it. My mum kept picking on my aunt who bf all the way, saying how the baby was always upset and hungry, ect. My hat goes off to my aunt! She did what she wanted and didn't listen to anyones advise.

    My advise to any mum worried about what other people say is, Don't worry about it. Your baby is happy and you are happy and that is all that matters. BF is not for everyone, that's why they have formula! Tell them to pi$$ off! The more someone pressures the less you are going to like bf, I think if left alone and relaxed bf would be easier.

    Sorry I kinda B!tched a little....

  12. #30

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    Gotta eat. Don't eat, ya die...............

    Maybe just point that out.............. Or, you could also point at that your (?) month old baby doesn't eat sandwiches yet - you tried that last week. Then watch their faces.

  13. #31

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    I can't believe how insensitive that doctor was. He talked about PND if you DONT breastfeed, well it is attitudes like that, that contribute to women getting PND!!!
    You have to do what is best for you. THere is absolutely no crime in formula feeding. I was a formula fed baby, and I have never had asthma, and if anything I struggled to keep weight on!! So what I am saying is that we are all different. I get the complete opposite DS is now 13 months and still BF, and I get the whole "Isn't he a bit old for BF??!!" The difference is that I am not a new mother, and I am not trying to establish a relationship, so I just nod and say - yep still feeding!!! I struggled with feeding at the start, but nothing that I couldn't cope with. But if I had the same experience that you had, I probably would have swapped to formula also.

  14. #32

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    Big Hugs to you.

    That Dr was horrid!! I would be reporting her to the AMA. I'm glad you phoned your CHN and that you have found some support. How dare your Dr blame any of those things on not BF.

    you said
    I just look at Ryans little face and his massive bright eyes and feel maybe I should of perservered or tried harder and that I've failed him, damn baby blues
    Darling those massive bright eyes are an indication of a happy healthy baby, who is doing marvelously on formula.

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