Hmmm, i don't think feeling awful for your lifestyle makes any sense! Put that out of your mind.

I know LOTS of women who FF for lifestyle reasons, including one who boobie fed her #1 for 2 years and then gave her #2 FF within a few days - she had to go back to work within a few weeks (her own business) and had watched her #1 go through all manner of stress because he wouldn't take milk from anything but a boob, not a cup, bottle, spoon, anything - she had a ton of EBM and no way of giving it to him and simply wasn't in the position to lose business now it was her own business in order to go feed him in childcare every 3 hours.

You have to work. They SHOULD make BFing possible if it's your choice to do it, all you need is a decent pump and a fridge and you're good to go, but if you chose to FF for that reason then feeling guilty is like feeling guilty for putting food on the table and keeping a roof over your heads. Some lifestyle things you can change and some you can't or don't want to. This is YOUR baby, coming into YOUR family.

No matter WHICH way you decide to feed your baby there will be SOMEONE who has a negative view of you and loud opinion. So what - it's not them who has to come to your house at 3am and feed the baby, so it's not their beeswax!

I FF DD from 5.5months or so and weaned her off the boob entirely at 7 months, and i read all the various infos about "risks and benefits" of FF and BF so i was aware of potential problems and could try to minimise things in other ways. My friend did this too (like she kept bubs #2 in her room to sleep for the full first 6 months (she moved #1 to his own room at 5 weeks) to reduce some of the statistical risks of FF, and she weaned at 6 months to minimise allergy risk, that sort of thing). Her boys are both healthy and happy and you would not tell between them in terms of strength and vigour.

From a practical POV, i'd have to agree that FF was more work compared to BF, especially if i wanted to go out for the day. It was a shock to suddenly have to do maths about how many times i'd need to feed her and how long the milk would be unrefrigerated and all that, LOL, was used to just taking 1 burping cloth and going out! But i also agree that it's like MCNing, you just DO the extra work. I wouldn't volunteer for it next time, but i am SO lazy. Just having 2 kids is going to be a shock for me i think! LOL.

Best of luck with your birth and good on you for giving BF a go. You might love it, you might not. Only one way to find out

Bx