FF as a lifestyle decision?

[prama]

amber - do what you feel is right. i was formula fed, and im normal!
no one should tell you what to do, and as a mum you'll get that constantly.
just a word of caution, the nurses, mws, LCs at the hossy might get pushy about bf-ing. they might or they could rrspect your decision.

losing weight! bf-ing isnt helping me at all! doesnt work for everyone, esp over 30 like me!

[fionas]

Hi Amber

Good on you for being so honest!

I echo what everyone else has said. There's pros and cons to each of course. I think in terms of lifestyle there's a few things to consider. You'll probably find that BF takes up much more time than FF in the beginning as FF keeps them fuller for longer BUT BF is much more convenient, as the others have said, in terms of going out and about (and even staying in). I know washing and sterilising bottles doesn't sound like much hassle but IT'S BORING and when you get caught off-guard with a crying, hungry baby and no clean bottles the 10 mins it takes to get sorted can seem like an eternity - especially with an unexpected wake-up in the night and a DP who "forgot" to do the bottles the night before LOL.

Secondly, I think the older the baby is the less time it takes for them to BF (from what I've observed at my Mothers Group) compared to the time it takes for them to drink a bottle. For some of the BF mums, it seems to take 5-10 mins whereas it can often take my DD 30 mins to finish a bottle. She'll have a little bit, then get bored, starts whacking the bottle, have a giggle, play with the teat so I put her down before trying all over again!

As I said before, good on you for being so honest and I wish you all the best.

[~kellie~]

I was pretty much the same as you when I was pregnant with my DD, I didn't think I would breast feed for very long either, but 6.5 months later I am still going strong! So, what I am trying to say is, my advice would be to wait till bubs is born, cause you may completely change your mind! But remember 1 important thing, happy mum = happy baby!

[Doing my best]

Hi Amber,

As everyone else has said, it is all up to what is right for you as a family. I wanted to BF, but didn't have enough supply, (and for my reasons, decided not to increase it), but up until a few weeks ago was still giving DD BF in the morning and evening and FF at all other feeds. Some people thought I was nuts, and midwife tried telling me at 8 weeks that she wouldn't be doing it after 3 months cause of the slow supply compared to FF, but she really enjoyed that cuddle time, as I went back to work p/t at 3 & 1/2 months. The only reason I totally stopped as DD was using my nipples as a teething ring... OUCH.. As it wasn't her main supply of food, I stopped.

But, again, do whatever you feel is right for your situation once bub has arrived.

[Indadhanu]

Hi Jessica,

I just want to say that as long as you are happy with your decision then tell anyone else who challenges your decision to go jump. You'll get those who repeat breast is best until they're blue in the face, but who are they to tell you what is right for you and your body and your baby. I am the opposite, really hoping to breastfeed to 12 months + and face opinions from family/friends who think 12 weeks is long enough.... we're going to get opinions from people who think its their way or nothing, and don't mind letting you know. And not just about feeding too (as I'm sure you've experienced ). But it's not their family. It's not their life. It's not their decision to make. Whatever decision you make will be the best for your circumstances.

[Gigi]

Amber
good on you for exploring all the options.

i've only been a mum for a short time (my bub is 18months old) and i reckon, as soon as you become pregnant EVERYONE has something to say to you, no matter WHAT decisions you make, there is ALWAYS someone banging on, judging you - usually complete strangers at the supermarket !!!! It gets very wearing to put up with it all, i coudln't believe it, it started when pregnant, i thought i would get a break then, but no!

I cop it FOR breastfeeding, so sorry to burst your bubble hon, but WHICH EVER way you go, FF or BF, people STILL make comments!!!! I've been told - since five months "when are you going to put her of FF"?

I've noticed, the majority of people use FF, the majority of people use disposable nappies, that is the norm right now.

i breastfeed and use modern cloth nappies, so i cop it quite a bit.

but i am doing exactly what you are doing - and i believe most mums do, i think about things first, then make up my mind and make a decision based on MY FAMILY -not all the stickybeaks who put their oar in.

it's like having a bub makes you become an advocate for your bub - you ahve to stand firm, cos if you don't, who else will look out for your bub?

So i reckon you're on the right track, and really what else can you do?

you can learn about different ways of doing things, and then when you come to the relevant time in your life e.g baby arrives, armed with what you know, you make a choice at the time. I don't believe it's something you can decide AHEAD of time. Before having a baby, i was such a control freak! now i'm learning, you have to go with the flow, continually revising what you're going to do.

it does help to be well prepared.

e.g i made the mistake of going into labour NOT knowing about c-sections - which i lived to regret. In retrospect, i should have schooled up on ALL ways of hving a baby, not just the one i thought i wanted.

So don't let anyone bully you, educate yourself on all options, and then choose what is right for you. ANd don't be boxed in, it's not one or the other exclusively. Some people FF part of the time, adn BF part of the time.

i remember finding BF-ing so hard at the start, i used to tell myself, i will do it for today, but i cant guarantee tomorrow. cos thinking too far ahead, just couldn't get my head around that.

mothering seems to have all this GUILT attached to it.
SO MANY decision you have to make on behalf of your baby!
and all these people happy to make their comments!
so have some supportive people nearby to back you up.

and don't worry, which ever choice you make, you are the mum, you make the decision with love for your baby, don't forget that, you are the best person to make the decision.

hope your labour goes great for you Amber!

[ShootingStar]

DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with formula!!!!!
My son has been nothing but healthy (minus his bout with HF&M but thats a contractable virus so has nothing to do with not being BF). I was FF from birth as was my brother and sister and w're all the same as DS.. HEALTHY!

Regarding expenses.. i honestly think neither one out weighs the other as if you BF you need to be having a good stable diet, taken vitamins, buying breast pads, nipple creams etc etc.
Honestly, its not that overly time consuming. You wash the bottles as you do your dishes and stick them in a steriliser. And you boil water as you do for a cup of tea.

Do what works for you and your family and dont let anyone, especially midwives who are set in their ways, make you feel guilty that you should be doing something different. Good on you for making the choice!

[sangie]

Good on you sweety for thinking ahead - wish I had done more of that lol!

My advice to you would be give bf a try and see how it goes and how it fits into your lifestyle.......you may find you love it or it may be that you decide to go ff. I learnt early on with a bub to just take each day as it comes, there is no rush to make a decision either way. Oh and you may find that a combination of bf and ff works for you, this is what I did for quite a while.........best of luck and you will know what to do when the time comes!

People will ALWAYS have an opinion and given how sensitive I was just after having bubs (bloody hormones!) I found myself quite often in tears about bf vs ff. Follow your instincts and you can't go wrong

[Phteven]

Regarding expenses.. i honestly think neither one out weighs the other as if you BF you need to be having a good stable diet, taken vitamins, buying breast pads, nipple creams etc etc.
Honestly, its not that overly time consuming. You wash the bottles as you do your dishes and stick them in a steriliser. And you boil water as you do for a cup of tea.

I think that you've rather overestimated the cost of breastfeeding.
We all should have a good diet regardless of how our babies are fed and a good diet is actually cheaper than an unhealthy diet. Even if you have a dreadful diet you can still breastfeed. The same bottle of vitamins I was taking when I was pregnant is still in my fridge. I take one every few months if I remember. If you have a good diet you're just going to pee out most of the contents of the pills. IMO the breastfeeding part on those vitamins is a marketing ploy rather than accurate dietary advice. 1 tube of lanisoh lasted me for my entire BF relationship with each of my boys - after a week or 2 you don't need them.
Breast-pads aren't a big expense and re-usable ones are even cheaper.

For me even 1 extra thing in the washing up is too time consuming lol - I hate washing up.

[River]

Yup, agreed with Chloe, you can breastfeed without an expensive diet - do you know that is one of the sneaky marketing tools of the forumla companies? They put out leaflets on breastfeeding, but in it put pictures of expensive foods so that people think it's hard to afford a diet on with you can breastfeed. Heck, you can breastfeed on a diet of full fast food if you wanted to - but that would be crap for you anyway.

Multivitamins for breastfeeding aren't a big necessity either and as Chloe says, mainly just marketing by the pharma companies. If your diet is crap, you will probably need a multi regardless of if you are breastfeeding - if you don't need one in your normal life, you don't need one when breastfeeding.

I don't wear breastpads - but I have a set of cotton washable ones there for JIC. I don't use nipple creams.

[ShootingStar]

All i was trying to say is formula feeding isnt really as bad as its made out to be and was stating my personal opinion and experience as everyone else has in this thread. Even though i only BF DS for 9 days, i used all of the above.

[Macca79]

I have just put my son onto formula full time. I breast fed for 7 weeks and had a few minor problems but three days ago I just decided to put on FF. I have been a happier mum for it I must confess and find it less stressful then BF. But thinking back to a few weeks ago when I was still pregnant I remember how indecisive I was about things particularly BF. Maybe just prepare yourself for both. Buy a few bottles and formula and keep them in the cupboard as well as a few nursing bras and breast pads. This way your prepared for both . Either way the most important thing in my opinion for any baby is a happy mum so do what you feel is right for you and your baby, your the only person who will know what is best. I hope what ever your choice it works out well. Have faith your mothering abilities .

[paradise lost]

Totally O/T Macca but can you remove that photo of your DS from his ticker? I am brooding myself sick here!!! Far too cute, pretty sure it's illegal...

Bx

[~Belinda~]

My DD Madeleine was FF from 3 weeks. I made the decision as I was in agony with cracked, bleeding nipples and never got those hard, full breasts either. I gave it a good go though.

I never looked back at my decision, didn't even feel guilty. My DD is very healthy and that's all that matters to me. I praise those women who can BF but it just wasn't possible for me. I agree it is cheaper and easier to probably BF. It's been no big deal to make up her bottles though, I'm pretty organised anyway.

Feeding Madeleine is only a small part of what is to be for the rest of her life and she loves her milk and is healthy so that's all that matters to me.

Not sure if we are having another baby but if we were to decide, I would probably give BF a go again but would go onto FF no problems if there were the same issues.

[sunshine_sieben]

Hi, I am very pro BFing, but I understand where you are coming from. But, I would really urge you to keep an open mind.

I had to bottle feed (Expressed breast milk, not formula) in the early days and found it soooo hard. It was such a hassle for me as I had to wash and setrilise bottles. All this stuff was constantly standing around in my kitchen, when DD was hungry (and often you don't get much warning), I had to heat a bottle one handed with a screaming baby in the other arm. It was an absolute nightmare. Let alone all the money this costs. And DD didn't take well to the bottle, I tried so many different teats until I found one she sort of liked. She got lots of gas from the bottle, so there was lots of crying and wind. After a few weeks BFing was finally established properly and it was such a breeze. I didn't have to lug around bottles and worry about any of this washing & sterilising stuff. If DD was hungry, I could just pop out a boob and away she'd go. I used this time to bond with her or sometimes to read a book. I loved how it forced me to have a break.
I also run a business with DH. Until DD was 3 months, we worked from home (we have since moved into a workshop). Although I was not able to help all that much, I don't think i would have been able to help much more if I had been FF. I invested in a HugABub so that while DD was asleep (which could be 5 hours at a time when in the HugABub) I could get lots of work done, like the BAS and stuff like that. Even during breastfeeding I sometimes worked on the computer.
Also, consider the fact that FF babies tend to get sick a little more often. How would that affect your work?
And night times were soooo easy when BFing. I could actually sleep while feeding so the next day I wasn't all that tired and could get on with my work.

Oh, and by the way, I HATED my nipples being played with. They used to be soooo overly sensitive. But that never bothered me during breastfeeding. I actually really enjoy the breastfeeding relationship I have with DD (I still am BFing her, although it is very quick and not so frequent these days). They are some of the sweetest moments we share. DH loves watching us. He feels like he witnesses a very special, almost sacred moment. He did sometimes get to feed DD aswell with EBM, so your DH can be involved in the feeding relationship.

Having said all that, my decision was mainly based on the physical and mental health advantages that BFing has and on the fact that I just consider it the natural thing to do.

But you will have to make your own decision. And whatever you decide, don't worry about what other people might think or say. It's your body and your baby. No matter what you do in your new role as a parent, there will be people telling you it is the wrong thing. I used to have people tell me at 3 months that I have to put DD on formula. For varying reasons like: "She needs extra nutrition" or "you're spoiling her and don't let her become independent" or "you need to get your life back". They couldn't quite explain to me how I would be getting my life back, but I never asked. I jsut smiled and nodded and did what I felt was the right thing to do.

All the best,
Sasa

[~Belinda~]

Sasa, that's not good about gas from bottle and standing in kitchen heating bottles etc. I know what you mean though about waiting for bottle to heat, easier to just put out the boob isn't it! But in saying this, I let my DD cry for a couple of minutes and she was fine and really, I used bottles that had the anti-colic teat so she never got gas from them. I guess each baby is different but good on you for BF'ing. I think it's good if you can continue with it, I just didn't want to beat myself up about it and at the end of the day, was happy to FF. My DD has NEVER been sick, she's almost 6 months and hasn't even had a cold!! But she did have 3 good weeks of BF'ing in the beginning!

Interesting that we all have such different experiences

[sunshine_sieben]

Evening Star, I made a grammatical error in my last post (and probably a few spelling mistakes ;-) So there was a slight misunderstanding. I meant to say "All this stuff was constantly standing around my kitchen" (meaning the bottles, teats, etc.) and then I meant to start a new sentence about DD wanting a feed and me having to get the bottle ready. So I wasn't saying I was constantly standing in the kitchen getting bottles ready for a crying baby. That would definitely have been an exaggeration.

I guess, it just added to the anxiety of being a new mum... not really knowing what to do and having a crying bub and not being able to do somehting about it immediately. It definitely took me a lot longer than 2 minutes to get a bottle ready. More like 5-10.

I also used bottles with anti colic teats, but they're more a marketing gimmick IMHO. I actually found that the simplest teats turned out to be the ones causing the least gas. And in my case it really was the bottles giving her gas. Cause even later on, when DD was over the whole Newborn gas issues, whenever I gave her a bottle of EBM, she had gas again. too much coincindence in my books...

But some babies take to bottles very well. Mine just didn't.

Oh, and by the way, I don't blame you for stopping BFing because of the pain. I recently had cracked bleeding nipples and they are excrutiating. If I had gotten them early on, when you seem to feed bub constantly, I don't know if I could have gone through with it. But I find that pumping and bottle feeding EBM can be a good way to deal with cracked nipples as it gives them a chance to heal.

I have to say, I had the advantage that I had A LOT of support. I was in a birth centre and in the early days, my midwife came to see me every day, sometimes for 3-4 hours to help me get my BFing issues sorted. But after a couple of weeks we were good to go. I realise that most women don't get that kind of support. Often they have nobody around who has breastfed themselves. So when things don't go to plan, FF seems like the only option.

Please don't think I am looking down upon anyone who FF. Or being very critical about it. We all set out to do the best we can for our babies.

Sasa

[~Belinda~]

Sasa, not at all! I think it's great you continue your BF journey. Who am I to judge what you have gone through? It's not like I can say "keep trying to BF, it's worth it at the end of the day!" because I have heard heaps of women perservere and come out at the end so happy that they did keep it up!

For me, my milk went out and Madeleine just seemed to not be getting enough. My nipples were so sore and I was crying at every feed. Even with support from an LC and everyone around me, I was scared of getting depressed! And I was someone who didn't even get the baby blues in hospital, even though all the midwives told me I would!!! I hated that.

So good on you for BF'ing, well done, no offence taken at all, was just explaining I guess that all Bubs are different and it didn't bother me at all to make up bottles or FF my DD. I am so glad I made that decision. I bet if I did keep up the BF'ing, I would be saying how awesome that is!!! I bet!

Take care, Love Belinda