How do I loose the Guilt?

[lilmisspositive]

Hey beautiful,

You are my hero. You have done well. Just like I did, you explored all options and it just did not work out. It took me awhile to get over the guilt but I only needed to look at dd thriving on formula to realise my decision was the correct one. I also started feeling better when I noticed not only was dd happier because I was not stressed but my mental health had improved by 100%. Everyone that matters supports you hon. Hugs! xx

[Beautiful Disaster]

Thanks everyone. I still feel terrible but your words of support mean alot. I think I need to start by talking to DH. I find i shut down when I dont want to disappoint him.

[sloane]

i haven't been in the same position, but i did worry an awful lot about BFing early on & what i can say in hindsight is that i wish i had just stopped worrying, focussed on whether my DS was happy & healthy & well fed (no matter whether it was BF or FF) & enjoy those early months. time flies past & in a matter of months you'll be wondering why you used up so much energy worrying about it & giving yourself a hard time unnecessarily.

if your baby is well nourished, then you couldn't possibly be disappointing anyone i think you're right - you do need to talk to your DH & let him know how you're feeling. chances are he just wants you to be happy & would only be disappointed cos you are (hope that makes sense!).

be kind to yourself

[lilmisspositive]

i haven't been in the same position, but i did worry an awful lot about BFing early on & what i can say in hindsight is that i wish i had just stopped worrying, focussed on whether my DS was happy & healthy & well fed (no matter whether it was BF or FF) & enjoy those early months. time flies past & in a matter of months you'll be wondering why you used up so much energy worrying about it & giving yourself a hard time unnecessarily.

if your baby is well nourished, then you couldn't possibly be disappointing anyone i think you're right - you do need to talk to your DH & let him know how you're feeling. chances are he just wants you to be happy & would only be disappointed cos you are (hope that makes sense!).

be kind to yourself

So well said!!

[FabFiona]

In the end I asked myself one question, "Have I done everything in my power to make breastfeeding work?" I can honestly say that at the time I did do everything that I could to make it work. I saw lactation consultants, I tried expressing, I took the herbs, I fed frequently, lots of skin to skin. But it still wasn't working. So I made the best decision available to me at the time which was to switch to FF.

If you can honestly say that you have done everything available to you and it's still not working out, then that should help ease the guilt. I still felt terrible for a while, but it was more about mourning the lost relationship rather than an inability to continue breastfeeding.

[Party-of-five]

I went thru what you are now 3 times talk with your DH he wont be dissapointed my DH was proud of me for trying and he saw what a strugle it was.

go easy on yourself

[starangelk]

Kylz - you have done a great job babe and I think deep down you know that. But I totally hear you on the guilt thing and if only it was as easy as saying "I will not feel guilty from now on." I struggled with this too and I realised that for me, it was more about what other people thought of me for FF. Was DH disappointed I wasn't able to continue on? Were my BFing friends looking down on me and thinking I wasn't doing the best by DD? There was no magical answer for me to overcome this.........it was time that helped me. Time helped me see that DD was still growing, smiling, playing and entertaining us all and drinking formula too. I realised that I had absolutely not taken the easy option. FF involves steralising and mixing and shaking and preparation. BFing is such a wonderful process and it's my ideal but not for once do I feel like I took the easy option by FF.

I hope you can overcome these feelings soon Kylz..................you have a gorgeous DS