Is this really wrong?

[Visitor8]

If you want to FF then do it. If people have something to say hand them the baby and tell them to pop out a tit.

[Arimeh]

If you want to FF then do it. If people have something to say hand them the baby and tell them to pop out a tit.

Careful you might have all these strange women doing that if you offer!!!!!!!

[Maruschke]

If you want to FF then do it. If people have something to say hand them the baby and tell them to pop out a tit.

exactly!!! Do what is best for you, tell everyone else to sod off! I think it is so important to do what is right for you, and happy mum really does mean happy baby.

If you want to FF, then go for it!

ETA - don't do this to Salma Heyak!

[paradise lost]

I think you need to make the decision that's right FOR YOU and YOU FAMILY.

My experience (as a past sufferer of abuse) was that the whole process of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding (which was a shorter journey than hoped for but still very worthwhile for me) actually left me feeling for the first time since the abuse that this was MY body. I was concerned that i would feel re-abused in some way, or suffer flashbacks or problems from it all but on the contrary, it felt like a powerful taking-back of what had been stolen from me.

This might not be your experience at all, but i just wanted to put it out there, because it was quite amazing for me, afterwards, to be able to see these parts of my body in such an overwhelmingly positive light, even though my BFing didn't work out as planned (i began to lose supply after 4.5months of exclusive BFing and had to wean completely onto formula at 7 months) i really felt like my body had brought me joyful function rather tha being a means for others to hurt me.

Anyway, it's hard to describe really, you can PM me if you want to talk about it. For me i really am glad that i chose the path i did, because i think now that if i HADN'T done it the way i did (or rather tried to do it the way i tried to do it) i would now feel it was just another thing my abuser had managed to deprive me of.

Good luck with your decision, and try not to worry about comments from others, whether you BF or FF you get MASSES of comments from nosy/opinionated/bored people anyway. During the period when i was supplementing DD i was once tutted at for FFing and BFing in the same day by different people. You end up growing a nice thick skin against all those who waltz in on 8 hours sleep in clothes with no sick on them and tell you how to do what you've been doing 24/7 for months!

Bx

[~Saram~]

My goodness no-one should be made to feel guilty for not wanting to BF! I know it probably feels that way with all the tins saying "breastmilk is best for baby" but that's an education thing not a guilt trip. You are right it is so much more important that you be happy and comfortable whether that be expressing, BF or FF. I'm guessing quite a few of the intelligent and wonderful people on BB were FF - I was, no damage done

Having said all that I was not keen on BF myself. I knew it was the right thing to do but in my heart I didn't know if I could do it. All my life breasts had been talked about as sexual object, no-one in my family BF or even discussed BF - in fact I don't think until I had my son I had ever seen a woman Bf a baby. The whole concept of it made my stomach turn however once that baby slipped from my body and I looked down at him nothing felt more natural. Yes it was still awkard and we had a lot of attachment issues because I wasn't comfortable showing my breasts/nipples and having midwives grab them and position my son but... here we are, I BF my son until 2 and still BF my DD.

Giving birth does change something in you, you regard your body differently to what you do pre-birth. Have you considered maybe some sort of counselling or even a pregnancy yoga/mediation to help you connect more with your body and what it was made to do?

As for your decisions in the hospital, make sure you pack bottles and formula, check and see what the hospital supplies in regards to this as a lot of them have regulations to keep their breastfeeding friendly accreditation. i would also be detailing on my birth plan your thoughts on this, whether you want to be given privacy, time to try in your own time, formula and BF whatever you choose and let them know there are personal reasons for your choice and you want these respected and you would like any MW attneding to you to be aware of the situation so you don't have to keep repeating yourself everytime the shift changes.

All the best with your pregnancy and birth, I hope everything goes well for you

[alioops]

Honey I do believe that there is a need for formula in medical needs, and I see mental health as a medical need. It is the misconceptions about formula that worry me. Doing what you can to remain yourself and not fall into the pit of depression and suffer anxiety due to the things that have happened in your past are a very good reason to FF, as if you do need meds then there is more available to you.

When DD2 first started on formula, I did feel guilty. I felt guilty that I had been in denial that she was not tolerating my milk, and I felt that I had failed her. But I made the decision to switch for my whole family, I had a young toddler as well and could not spend as much time as would have been needed with a LC to get BF to work, even if she had used drops to help her digest it. When there is a medical need it is normal to feel guilty for using formula. Women that don't feel guilty are often the ones with the misconceptions. Feeling guilty about it shows that you are going to be a wonderful mum, because you are so concerned about your baby's wellbeing.

Your feelings may change about BF, but if they don't I see it as you are making the decision based on your health and what is best for your whole family. Your health is more important than how your baby is fed.

[~Raven~]

I know everyone that has suffered abuse feels differently about things but from a personal point of view, I felt differently about the whole birth and breastfeeding process. I think it has something to do with me letting my body be used as it was intended and nurture a baby, not as an amusement parlor.

I found breastfeeding to be an incredible healing process for me. I went into it kind of not fussed if I b/f or not. Once I'd had my first bub I felt totally different and welcomed help from the midwives to help him latch on and teach me how to express by hand.

Find out if your hospital has a counsellor and if they can talk to you about this stuff. It might help