Hello again.. most of you who've been around this section for a few months or more know my story (in bits) but I'd thought I'd repeat some of it as there are a few more recent questions re. decisions like ??who the birth mum etc
I have two children DS1 has just turned 10 and DS2 will be 8 in a couple of weeks. They and their other mum (my ex-DP) were together for 10 years and split up four years ago. She is the biological mother of both the children. Currently ours sons live week about with her and then with me and my DP, so they now have three people they call 'mum' or some variant of eg 'mamma'
Re decision making.. when ex-DP and i started talking about having children (many moons ago now!) we were both clear that we both wanted to physically carry, birth and breastfeed a child. We also at the time thought we'd like 4 children. The deciiosn that she would get pregnant first was easy... she is four years older than me, she really wnated gewt be pregnant at the time, i felt ready to be a mother but was studying fulltime and at that stage my course (medicine) did not allow part time study. The initial plan was that she would have the first one and myself the second. We used a known donor, i did the inseminations myself in our own home (the donor lived interstate but would travel to us) and she got pregnant on the third month of trying.
OUr first son was born in Juily 1998, 5 months before my final med school exams. About a year later we started talking about a second child and contrary to our initial plans we decided that she again would have the child. It was a little harder this time but as we thought we would still have more children I was ok with it. Again she really wanted a second pregnancy and the age factor meant it was sensible for her to do it sooner. A bi factor was that I was finally finishing studying, we were about to have an income for the first time in ages, had bought a house and the mortgage needed paying! We used the same donor and she got pregnant on the second attempt. OUr DS2 was born towards the end of my intern year.
Fast forward almost eight years and I am now 36 living with my sons (every second week) and my DP who is 45. DP and I were clear we wanted children (she din't have any prior to meeting me) and again the decision re who was easy. DP has never, ever wanted to be pregnant/give birth, in fact the idea is abhorrent to her! However, I always have and I guess even if she did want to her age would make it tricky, if not impossible for her.
We are using a known donor (different to the one for DS1 and DS2) weho is in the same state as us. We have been TTC for about 18months but apart from one BFP and very early miscarriage/chem preg in Nov 2007 have not had any luck. FOr a myriad of reasons we are now going down the IVF- in fact ICSI path. This is largely as our donor turns out to have fertility issues but for many reasons we do not want to change donors. Currently our first ICSI is planned for around Jan 2009.
In response to Nurse27... wow! I'm not sure what is going on at repromed but we've never been told of anything like a $10K sperm processing fee! We are seeing Dr Kelton Tremellen who had been really good. But I have also heard good things about a number of their other Drs including Chrisitne Kirby and Louise Hull.
OUr expenses have been as follows
First appt
Me- $115.70 up front with $65.70 back from medicare (so $50 gap)
DP- bulk billed
First appt for our donor
As for my first appt
Follow up appt
Me- $83 up front with $33 back from mediciare (so $50 gap)
Transvaginal ultrasound
$93 up front with $29.75 back from mediciare (so $63.25 gap)
3 mandatory counselling appts- 1 for donor, 1 for me and DP and one with the 3 of us. There is no charge for any of the counselling
I've also had a couple of blood tests for which there has not been an extra charge
OUr donor has given semen samples on three ocassions and has had blood taken, there was no charge for these services.
OUr donor is also taking menevit which is $80 for three months supply from them (and we have bought 2 packets to date, so $160) You can now get it from chemists but at the time we first bought it you couldn't
I am not sure about sperm storage fees. I know there are costs for frozen embryos storage (but i think this is hundreds rather than thousands). I now cannot remember re sperm storage. We certainly have not been charged anything yet and our donor's sperm has been stored for just over three months. Re the sperm storage/quarrantine period- it is actually three months (ours was up last week yay!).. but i do know that since we started with repromed they have done an overhaul of their whole donor program so things may have changed.
That's pretty much our experiencr to date. Donor has another appt on 23/10 then us on 27/11 to actually finally plan first ICSi and sign consents etc! Yay
Nurse 27 if you want to PM me would be happy to give you my mobile number and have a chat/share experiences Good luck, Girldoc
Hi Kitty Kat,
I am really cofused with why your clinic has told you they need to speak to your father, As far as I'm aware, and please correct me if I am wrong, we are going through the same clinic here in Perth, Concept Fertility?????
My partner and I first went in when we were 22 to go on the program, no parents were involved and only 1 counselling session. Now this was only last year. Perhaps it was because we had been together for nearly 5 years and were very stable, I don't know..
We were never told once that if we were under 25 then we needed a consenting parent.
I am very confused as to why there are 2 sets of procedures
Hey Gizzmo,
Yeah I have no idea. The counsellor told me that it was definately not only me that they do it with, like it was nothing against me or anything and that all people under 25 have to have either one or both parents come to one counselling session. I'm not entirely sure that I believe her because throughout the whole 6 months that I've been on the waiting list I was never told anything about that policy of theirs, and in that time I saw the counsellor twice and she never once mentioned anything like it at all. It's kind of strange really. I don't think it's so much to do with the "consent" of the parent, I think it's more to do with the counsellor and clinic making sure I definately have really good support around me since I am single and young, but having said that I think if my dad went in there and said "there is no way I want her to do this, she's too young and I don't think it's a good idea at all, blah blah blah" then I think the clinic would seriously think about not letting me do it because they would be worried I wouldn't have enough support, which I would anyway, but I dunno. It's too complicated for my head!!
I'm pretty sure that it would make A LOT of difference having a partner that you have been with for some time, because then the clinic knows that you have that support person there the whole time, so I guess they don't have to worry quite as much?
Wow, what I'm hearing here is astonishing. I would never have thought clinics would run so misinformed. Things such as not letting you know that you need a consenting parent until the last minute like Jess has experienced and the hidden $10 K Drgirl has experienced is absurd to me. These clinics are meant to have a process and the initial appointment should discuss all of the above. Conceiving a baby through a clinic is an emotional rollercoaster as it is and then throw in unexpected expenses etc and it really tests your emotions just when you think you are all prepared and mentally ready. I just think its quite poor the way they have handled the way you have been treated. The prices at these clinics is massive, when my DP and I were first thinking of TTC we investigated a clinic and were told that we should budget for $7 K but medicare and private health cover most of it and we would be only about $1800 out of pocket. This was QFG in townsville so I'm sure each clinic is accredited individually and have their own costing however they justify it. I hope things run more smoothly for you all. All the best!
I am actually amazed at the price of some of these clinics... Our clinic only cost $200 for the use of a sperm donor and $800 for the sperm prep and IUI. We got 80% back thanks to medicare (i have pcos though dunno if that changes anything).
I also thought I'd answer RE choosing to be the tummy mum etc.
Its really not that hard, for some woman the desire to actually carry and give birth to a child is strong (for me it was)but for Shel, she was ready to be a mum but not ready to birth which suited us fine. She has started to think about giving birth next time which is good as I'd love to have another bub soon but not quite ready to birth again lol! Plus, logistically, it worked. Shel was working full time, and I was studying. I am going to finish my studies externally and then I'll go to work and Shel will be home with Jazz and she'll have the next bub in 2-3 years. I don't REALLY want to go to work, I'd much rather be home with Jazz but I also don't want Shel to have to work all the time either, plus once we are considered partnered we wont get a PPS so it makes more sense for me to go to work as I'll be able to earn more with a uni degree. Eventually I'll have the third bub, and thats all we've talked about really. Not sure when #3 is happening, probably 6 or so years.
Wow I am so shocked at all these expenses that everyone is facing.
My partner and I only had to pay $130 for our initial consultation with our Gynacoloist with medicare rebating half and each insemination all we pay is $180. So far we have tried 2 times and falling both times but our little micro just wont stick
We have had 1 month break and I am going on clomid this cycle so I ovulate early ( Not day 28 out of a 35 day cycle like I have been) we also had to just pay just $28 for the clomid
We dont pay any other expense..........
What the?????
You guys could be saving thousands of dollars by just flying over here to WA
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