I had a biopsy last week for a 'spot' that wouldn't heal on my forehead. It had appeared literally overnight in the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. I saw it in the mirror one morning and wondered where it had come from. It looked like I had gouged a hole in my forehead with my fingernail. It would heal and then flare up again. I honestly put it down to normal hormonal skin changes that are common to pregnancy. But 3 weeks ago I saw my GP when I realised that there must be more to it than that (I wasn't pregnant anymore, for a start).
I got the result last week - Basal Cell carcinoma. I was scared, upset and angry. Why is this happening to me in my early 30's? I had a squamous cell carcinoma removed from my left cheek when I was 28. Now that was a shock. My DD was only 18 months old. I told myself that it may just be a one-off and that it may not happen again (or not for a couple of decades at least).I am now really scared that I may be susceptible to another type of cancer. It is quite possible that I may develop other skin cancers. My skin is fair, but BCCs and SCC's are most commonly found in people over 50. Why is this happening to me at this age?
I was so down over the weekend. I was thinking about my mortality and worrying that I wouldn't live to see my 50th birthday. I didn't want to get out of bed. I would look at my 10 week old baby and 2 older children and worry that I wouldn't see them reach adulthood....
Sadly, we think my DH has a genetic predisposition to melanoma. His father died of melanoma in 2007. During my latest pregnancy, 2 other males in his family (incl. his brother) had melanomas removed. We had discussed having another child but I worry that it is not fair bring a child in to the world if we are both prone to skin cancer. What kind of legacy have we left our children? I worry so much about their sun exposure. I also worry that I may develop another BCC if I am ever pregnant again.
And, I am p****d off because I will be left with a noticeable scar on my forehead after it is removed in 2 weeks. I know that is the least of my worries, but it feels like the straw that broke the camel's back IYKWIM? I am worried about where it will end. I know that I will now be looking at every blemish/spot/mark on my face and body and worrying about what it may be.
Has anyone else dealt with a similar health issue? How do you go on with your life and not let it get the better of you? How do you conquer the fear?
Darling, I'm right there with you. I've been diagnosed with 2 types of early cancer at once and am staring down the barrel of chemotherapy and then will have a breast removed later this year. I really think confronting your fear is one of the most important parts of the healing process. Yeah you could die early but guess what, Natasha Richardson was on a family skiing holiday in paradise and she suddenly died from falling over!! So having a few funky cells in your body does not necessarily predict the date you leave the planet AND you just have to come to grips with that. People die every day of sudden and unexpected things so in a way it's a gift to be reminded that your days on the planet are numbered, kwim? Then you can extract the very juiciest bits of life out of life, do the things that are most important to you, and let all the other cr@p slide.
I did some reading that really helped me - books about healing in general often talk about people who have overcome really grim diagnoses to go on and thrive and live long healthy lives. There are a lot more survivors out there than people who die. Think of people like Lance Armstrong, Kylie Minogue, Olivia Newton John. There are also some fantastic books by people like Petrea King, I suggest you look some of them up.
Plus there are other ways to help you feel empowered in creating your own state of health (instead of powerless in the face of this sinister 'thing' on your face). There are lots of creative visualisations on CD (check out Bernie Siegel and Louise Hay) which I'm using on a regular basis. I've started juicing vegetables, I'm seeing a Naturopath to support my baseline health, I'm chosing healthy 'alive' foods and incorporating more regular exercise in my lifestyle. I hope to be able to support my sense of wellbeing as I go through treatment with things like massage, aromatherapy, participating in support groups, fund-raising activities for cancer research, regular relaxation and meditation practice, crystal salt baths. Plus I intend to have FUN, laugh a lot, and enjoy myself. These things all create a positive biochemistry in your body that a) assist with healing and b) help you feel more positive and calm.
And yes, you will now always look at every spot and blemish and wonder. Yes is it appropriate for you to get them checked on a more regular basis by a specialist. Talk to your GP about finding someone really good who you can check in with every few months - they should record, measure and even take pictures of all your spots, so they can track any changes. But don't be gloomy or scared about this process. Like my breast (farewell my lovely!) think of it as insurance for your long and healthy life.
Don't stress too much about it. I work for a surgeon who specialises in skin cancer.
it will be removed, you will go back for results normally 1 wk later and will be told if they removed it all. You will more than likely need to have regular life time skin checks, normally every 3 months. You would be surprised how many younger people get them, the same with melanoma. Best thing is slip slop slap and keep out of the sun. Once it has been removed and healed up and in the healing process they will tell you to use vitamin e and sometimes a silicon tape band aid sort of thing so that it heals properly and isn't noticeable. I have seen people come in here with nasty things taken off there face (1 lady about the size of a golf ball!) and 6 months later it has healed up perfectly. Make sure you see a decent surgeon or even a plastic surgeon.
Oh, Marydean to you too, for all you are experiencing. Thank you for your advice. I will definately check out some of the books and visualisation CDs that you recommend. I am seeing a GP on Monday who is also a natural therapist (acupuncture, chinese medicine) and I have increased the amount of raw fruits and vegetables in my diet (I am a vego anyway so that isn't hard). I am also cutting down on my beloved dark chocolate (not as hard as I thought). Now that DS is 10 weeks old I am aiming to incorporate regular exercise into my life again. Thanks for your words of wisdom and comfort.
Thanks Mitzy81, your info was useful. I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon on the Gold Coast on Tuesday. He will be removing the BCC in a week and a half...$700 later I think this will be like a walk in the park for him! Thanks again.
Aliash, it is most important to understand - you are not to blame for these funky runaway cells in your body! These things sometimes just happen. If you're feeling angry - maybe set your intent to find forgiveness for your body (if that makes sense?).
Also, I was thinking of you today, and I meant to tell you about mindfulness practice. This is something that a lot of people who struggle with stress, anxiety or fear use to find peace. Basically it's about becoming mindful of where you are and what you are doing RIGHT NOW and leaving the future to sort itself out and the past in the past. Have you heard of Eckhart Tolle? He has written a couple of books, one called The Power of Now, and the other called A New Earth - Oprah did a whole heap of online tutorials with him which you can find on the Oprah website. He is a fantastic teacher and I highly recommend you check his stuff out. Otherwise there are loads of self/help and spirituality books/affirmation cards etc out there that focus on this idea of staying in the present moment. It really is a powerful thing, even if you can only achieve it in small doses. Hope this helps. xxx
Thank you so much Marydean. Yes, I love Eckhart Tolle. I have both the books you mentioned. I haven't yet read A New Earth. I totally agree with the importance of mindfulness. I often think about some of the things I read in The Power of Now, to try and focus on the present, and not catastrophise the future.Unfortunately, I often dwell in the past too. I know I could learn a lot more from Eckhardt. Sometimes I ask myself, 'what is required of me in this moment?' to try and ground myself to the present. I think I live in my head a lot. My DH is a buddhist. I know I could learn a lot from him. He meditates every day without fail.
I had actually bookmarked the tutorials that you are talking about, but I never got back to them. Actually, Eckhardt was doing a series of talks in Aus recently, but it was only weeks after my DS2 was born so I wasn't able to attend. I think I will read The Power of Now again, and then start on the other one.
I also like what you said about finding foregiveness for my body. I need to stop focusing on finding an answer to why this may have happened and move on. Otherwise I will be stuck in the past. Thanks you so much for directing me back to mindfulness. I can see that it has given you strength and I wish you all the best on your journey.
Basal cell carcinoma diagnosis
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I think this will be like a walk in the park for him! Thanks again.
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