Menopause

[Bathsheba]

Has this ever been discussed in BB? What do people know about it. What expectations do we have?

I can't help but think that many relationship issues with have with our MIL's/ mothers etc could be blamed on the hormonal changes of menopause.

Do we expect our moods to be changed as this stage of our lives arrive?

[MantaRay]

That's an interesting idea Bath. My mum had a hysterectomy and I don't remember her really going through menopause. The same with MIL, although maybe if I really thought about it, I could trace some emotional changes back to that time.

From a personal point of view, I think I have been far more hormonal and emotional since falling pg the first time, so I wonder if "the change of life" is really triggered earlier than menopause and starts with pg and birth instead.

[Janie]

My only experience of menopause is through my mother, who is currently going through it.

Her symptoms started not long after her hysterectomy (age 49). I think the most annoying thing for her is the hot flushes. Though I think the mood changes annoy me more LOL! She is determined not to use HRT (I will explain why if anyone is interested) but uses natural therapies which she finds help. She is not someone who normally turns to natural therapies, but is glad she has in this instance.

Yes, I definitely expect changes, but that's because I've seen changes in my mum. I am dreading it, but hoping that it is a looooong way off for me yet!

ETA my grandmother was on HRT for years and she had breast cancer a couple of years ago.

[New Dawn]

Yes I do think my mood will change apart from hormons I think I will be saddned by the loss of youth the realiseation that even if I didnt want I cant have anymore children!!! and just the plain know that my body is telling me that I am ready for the next stage in my life even if I dont feel like Iam ready for it...

As for MIL she had been going through her change when I meet DH and now its 12 yrs latter so dont think she would still be going trough that... Plus she used to be nice to me ( well to my face anyway)she has now changed after DH's father died 3 yrs ago she has nerver liked me sence so I now think that she was told to hold her tounge by my FIL but can let lose now...

[Nicambhar]

My mum went through early menopause because of a total historectomy and so did her mum so I hope that I don't end up like them. My mum took hormone replacement and ended up with breast cancer. The only thing that affected my mum was the hot flushes.

[Trillian]

It's not something I've given a lot of thought to because it is enevitable and I guess you just have to take it as it comes and try to find the best way to get you through it. I wouldn't even have a clue as to when I can expect it to even start to happen with me. My Mum has turned 50 this year and she is yet to go through it.

With the hormones/relationships etc, I have found that to be true for some women. A good family friend was an absolute shocker while she was going through it and was very hard to get along with, but she is great now. A woman closer to my age went through menopause after a hysterectomy and she didn't have that many issues at all.

[MrsFabuloso]

My mum is suffering terribly from menopause. It's not as bad now, but she's still going through it about 7yrs or so after it first got pretty bad. She gets really bad anxiety, going to hospital twice thinking she was having a heart attack, but turned out to be anxiety attacks. She gets really bad hot flushes, going into the pool at 2am in spring (in sydney, so not hot!), she's overly emotional and gets upset really easily. She refuses to go on HRT because she's terrified of cancer. She used to use natural therapies, but found they didn't do muh for her. She's now an anti anxiety tablets, but still gets anxious alot.

I am hoping by the time I go through it there will be other treatments for it! I expect to suffer like my mother...

[Phteven]

My mother sailed through it without any dramas but became ill not long after.
DH once said that MIL was awful when she was going through it.
It doesn't really worry me. It will be nice not needing to worry about birth control and AF.

[Tobily]

I vividly remember my mother going through menopause because for nearly two years she was hell on wheels!

I was about 18 at the time, and she went through it in her early-mid forties which was quite early. She was moody, hormonal, teary, short tempered...it was like living with a teenager, you never knew what kind of mood she'd be in from one hour to the next.

Needless to say I'm really not looking forward to it since I can be a moody cow at the best of times

[Zee]

Needless to say I'm really not looking forward to it since I can be a moody cow at the best of times

Same here so im not looking forward to it either. My MIL is going through it, she just gets hot flushes that I know of. Some sort of tea help with that..green tea??

[dusty]

Flea your experience with your mum was a lot like mine. In hindsight I feel so sorry for my mum, she had no support and it wasn't really something anyone talked about. HRT was just coming into being but was still quite experimental. We all thought she was going barmy, and while she eventually calmed down somewhat, she became (to this day) more childish in her emotions and ability to cope with stress and definitely more self centered.

Bath I think i read you somewhere today where you pointed out that going through menopause will probably be different for us than our mothers as we are more open about things and demand better information and choices than our baby boomer mums. I think and I hope you are right. It really isn't something that anyone prepares you for though. At least for me. Has anyone every taken any of you through what it is like and what are some signs it may be happening (other than the obvious hot flushes) and what to expect?

I am quite a bit older than most of my close girlfriends and after going through IVF/infertility while they are all having babies seemingly easily has been hard enough in that they can't really help or relate other than being understanding and supportive as they can. I can't imagine going through menopause without someone's understanding and guidance.

Hmmm this has given me some thought as to talking more to older women about their experiences and getting their advice as early as possible. Also to make this a real issue you can talk more openly about. Infertility is such a taboo subject for many reasons and this has been distressing enough that I don't want to experience another life experience in the dark with whispered words, guilt and confusion.

[satya]

My mum never really changed when she went through "the change". I hope I'm like that too. Then again, she never used to get PMS either and I've certainly had that on and off over the years so maybe I'll be different.

[Astrid]

As far as my MIL is concerned menopause symptoms are a figment of people's imagination, but then again she also thinks depression is all in your mind and you should just get over it. From what I can gather she is going through menopause, her main symptom is that her memory is getting worse.

I remember my mother going through it in her 50's, I was about 17/18. Life went awful for her, her normal paranoia got worse and she ended up quitting her job in a real strange way, swearing that she had not quit, but threatened to (long story, she is a total drama queen). From what I can gather my mother had undiagnosed depression and other issues, combine that with menopause and she was not fun to be around.