African babies don't cry - I call bull****

[RhiChiChi]

I think the power of a mothers intuition is highly underrated. I agree with Fleur - all babies cry, some cry more than others for whatever reason and ya know like some of the OP said, some won't stop crying no matter what you do.

forshelby, ((hugs)) she sounds like a right *beep* (can't post those words)

[Smoke Jaguar]

I HATE going places with baby in the car seat and he cries. It is so damn unnatural and I always think of those blissful bubbas in africa with no cars and just their mumma & a sling.

Oh, I feel the same!!

Agreed. All babies cry, it's how they communicate their needs.

They do communicate needs before the crying, as the crying is a last resort as a mama is sorting out her bilingual skills
I was told I was spoiling my first child by wearing him, co-sleeping, breastfeeding on demand and attending to him before he cried. He still cried and he was a bit more maintenance than my second. I did exactly the same things with her and was told exactly the same thing about rods for my back yaddiyaddah and she didn't have to be sling worn nearly as long during the day, and went longer between feeds (not 3 hours, but more than hourly or less!) and would fall asleep when I had laid her down on the bed and gone to organise myself (I'd turn around and be shocked that she'd done it without me! Didn't happen very often ). Now, I've got a 5.5yo boy who happily rides his bike down our road, calling out behind him that he'll be careful of snakes, and a 2yo girl who walks on on fallen logs in creeks maintaining great balance, both of them throw their arms around me and both of them are widely loved wherever they go. Spoilt? If that's the criteria, I'll take it and run
Happy babies. Sometimes (read: often) I'd get the signals wrong and I'd have a crying baby till I adjusted some circuits and wiggled some leads, and clearly, they're not broken because of it

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Dunno Maya - my DS was always a "talker" so went for crying as an early option. Some babies do, despite the books saying they go for body language first. DS also refused to babysign, he just used babble that I had to decode.

But my nearly-5-year-old is also confident and self-assured, has his own likes and dislikes, is fairly well-adjusted (considering who his parents are!) and is very, very huggy and kissy. In fact, when he's a bit too exploratory for me at the supermarket, I can lure him into the child seat by pointing out he's in front of me and we can cuddle the whole way around. But not widely-loved because he's "too high maintainance" and has "a strong will". Neither of which are a problem for me, but clearly cause other people seeing our relationship.

[Smoke Jaguar]

These other people need to be culled
Well, my point was that whether they are attended to before crying or not, it doesn't mean we're 'breaking' them, if our intentions are to meet their needs, even with wires crossed!
Anyway, I guess there are always people who will take these things literally and will feel led up the garden path and this sets them up for failure. It's not their fault, just that it gets trotted out without considering that many people will believe just that. Like SIDS in Asian countries. Just because it doesn't have a name doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I take it to mean that because it happens far, far less it doesn't have a name in those languages. As in, it's not an epidemic, it's not a 'syndrome' because there just aren't enough cases for it to merit that tag.

[onthefly]

Is the expectation that prescriptive methodologies are necessary for parenting part of the underlying problem here?

[Smoke Jaguar]

I believe you are onto something there! I hate prescriptions. The only prescription I like is "know thy baby", because they are ALL different...oddly enough...or not! Robyn Barker doesn't know your baby. Tizzy Hall doesn't know your baby, Gina Ford doesn't know your baby. Pinky McKay doesn't know your baby and she doesn't pretend to - she works on getting mamas back on track with themselves first so that they can cut out the chatter of all the prescriptions. I don't think you'll find Pinky giving unhelpful comments like African babies never crying (or else I've totally missed that chapter in her books...)!

[Fleur]

Is the expectation that prescriptive methodologies are necessary for parenting part of the underlying problem here?

Absolutely. I actually was going to add to my previous post - the only 'advice' that should ever be given as standad IMO is (to borrow Mayaness's phrase) 'know thy baby', 'follow your instincts', and 'if it doesn't work for you, don't do it'. Verrry simple stuff.

They do communicate needs before the crying, as the crying is a last resort as a mama is sorting out her bilingual skills

I don't disagree (although I never got the hang of being bilingual) - I guess my point was more along the lines of, it is unrealistic to expect that you will do everything so 'right' that your baby never cries.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Ahh, yes, that makes sense Absolutely - everyone is learning!