Sorry OT

Bec, I can't say in any of the articles I've read directly relating to attachment theory, that 'sentimental' parenting was a variable. Of course I haven't read everything published on the subject, but just within the scope of my searches on 'attachment' or 'attachment theory', I can't say I've ever seen it come up.

But I'm keen to add new dimensions to my reading, so if you could point me in the direction of the articles/book/journals where sentimental parenting relates to attachment theory, I'd be grateful. The more I read on the subject, the more my understanding grows, and that can only mean good things, esp with regards to my study.

Back to topic, I agree that part of the problem is the attitude of 'you must' do something. Healthy debate on parenting is a great thing, it makes you look at all sides of the picture. But in the end, you're the parent, and whether publicly declaring it or not, you're going to do what works for you. The best you can do is ensure that you have the knowledge to make the best decision for your baby.

Bath, I agree with you that rocking and carrying your baby over your shoulder are natural things to do, and in the dark it's not easy to make eye contact, but I think it's the un-naturalness of saying you shouldn't make eye contact at all at night that doesn't sit well with me (and I assume it's what the topic was about to begin with), and the instructional way it's given out to all and sundry without deference to the differences within families and children. It's not a natural thing to do for me, and tbh not following such a 'rule' worked for my family, not just Charlie but for all my kids.

And therein lies my point, I can't not look at my child, and I don't get the whole 'avoid eye contact' thing, and if I were a new parent and read that webpage, I may have thought I was doing something wrong, and behaved in a way that was contrary to my natural instincts.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is a lot of information out there, not all good, and a lot of it feeds off the insecurities of the parent. As parents though, we must feel empowered to make our choices and believe in them. When you do, no one will be able to tell you you're doing it wrong, because you will know you've done what was best for your family. For Bec, one way worked, and for me, another way worked, and that's the way it should be, because we have different children, cultures, lives. All the opposing sides should be seen as a way to inform yourself, and if we all could take these 'musts' and see them for what they are, which is advice, sometimes based on science, sometimes based on experience, sometimes based on selling a product, and weigh them for ourselves, then we're making the best possible decision each time.