Day Care Drop-Off Help Needed!!

[Lolli]

Just a warning Pixie, she will most likely pick up everythingthat's going round now she's in daycare (unfortunate, but just the way it is). I like to think of it as helping to build up their little immune systems

[Gigi]

i will go out on a limb here, as what i did is the opposite of what the other posters did/advise (also at 16 months mark).

i was one of those mothers who stayed, until my child was settled and happy and would not go until she was happy to be there without me.

i took my child's anxiety about being in a new environment, with new people, as her message to me that she felt unsure. So i stayed there, however long it took, breastfed her there (which makes her feel safe), played with the toys to show her i felt ok there, and spoke to the carers, again to show her i felt ok with them.

I didn't have a deadline of making it to paid work on time like you, so i appreciate it's a different scenario. But perhaps you could take her there on a non-work day, so there is no time pressure on you.

Everyone does what is right for them in their situation.
Just like i did not do "crying it out", i could not ignore my DD's communication to me (crying), when i first put her in childcare. I think her anxiety was to be expected, she had only ever been with me and she felt scared of the unknown. She was too young to understand the concept of time, so i couldn't tell her "i will be back in x hours". so for her, me leaving her there, INITIALLY, was her fear of "i will never see mummy again".

Bilby is happy at childcare now, it did not ruin her, me staying there to acclimatise her.

It did not ruin her experience for me to return at lunchtime to give her a feed, have a play with her, then leave again once she was settled.

Much pressure was put on me, by childcare workers, to ignore my child and walk away quickly, and let her cry. I had to do what was right for us and our parenting style - everything else i do with her, it's about building a secure attachment. i'm not going to do something entirely different, when it comes to outside care. I knew my child better than they did. i think every parent does.


Everyone has their opinion, so i hope i will be allowed to have mine too.

[Lolli]

Gigi, just out of curioustiy, how long did it generally take Bilby to settle? I'm guessing you had to do it a few days in a row?

Not disagreeing or being argumentative in any way, just genuinely curious as to how you went about it?

[Gigi]

i think it was weeks. (she's three now, this happened at 16 months old).

SHe was in care one day a week, so i didn't have mutliple days in one week, for her to get used to it quickly.

the amounts of time decreased every time we tried it.

It started again, each time she was in a new CCC. She just needed reassurance.

[Lolli]

Thanks for answering that Gigi. Have to say, I admire your dedication

[Kitt3n]

oh chikki, honestly - when I did FDC the kids would scream at the door until mum was out of sight.

Another minute or two and they were FINE.

She'll be sweet hun. She probably forgets all about you long before you feel better!!!

[thepixie]

Hey everyone, thanks for your tips! Today was MUCH better (I was surprised because she was pretty all over the place over the weekend with one thing and another). I passed her to the carer, gave her the dummy and said "Bye sweetie, I love you I'll be back to pick you up this afternoon". And quickly left. They were stuffing her with raisin toast as I went out the door and maybe there was a little squeak, but not proper crying and wailing like last week. My boss was there maybe five minutes after I left (she drove into the carpark as I drove away) and said that DD was absolutely fine by the time she got there. It was such a relief, I had a much better day at work because I didn't feel so terrible about her being upset in the morning.
Gigi, I know what you are saying, and I was thinking the same thing but in our case I think she was just working herself up the longer I stayed, because she knew I would leave. After I went she was just able to get on with her day. This morning there was so little upset that I think its kinder to her for me to just leave quickly.
Thanks again everyone, feeling much better! Hopefully it will continue to improve.