i will go out on a limb here, as what i did is the opposite of what the other posters did/advise (also at 16 months mark).

i was one of those mothers who stayed, until my child was settled and happy and would not go until she was happy to be there without me.

i took my child's anxiety about being in a new environment, with new people, as her message to me that she felt unsure. So i stayed there, however long it took, breastfed her there (which makes her feel safe), played with the toys to show her i felt ok there, and spoke to the carers, again to show her i felt ok with them.

I didn't have a deadline of making it to paid work on time like you, so i appreciate it's a different scenario. But perhaps you could take her there on a non-work day, so there is no time pressure on you.

Everyone does what is right for them in their situation.
Just like i did not do "crying it out", i could not ignore my DD's communication to me (crying), when i first put her in childcare. I think her anxiety was to be expected, she had only ever been with me and she felt scared of the unknown. She was too young to understand the concept of time, so i couldn't tell her "i will be back in x hours". so for her, me leaving her there, INITIALLY, was her fear of "i will never see mummy again".

Bilby is happy at childcare now, it did not ruin her, me staying there to acclimatise her.

It did not ruin her experience for me to return at lunchtime to give her a feed, have a play with her, then leave again once she was settled.

Much pressure was put on me, by childcare workers, to ignore my child and walk away quickly, and let her cry. I had to do what was right for us and our parenting style - everything else i do with her, it's about building a secure attachment. i'm not going to do something entirely different, when it comes to outside care. I knew my child better than they did. i think every parent does.


Everyone has their opinion, so i hope i will be allowed to have mine too.