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Thread: Day naps only while breastfeeding...

  1. #1

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    May 2010
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    Question Day naps only while breastfeeding...

    My 8.5 month old DD, for the last month or two, has started having her day naps only while on the boob.
    During her mid-morning feed, she'll feed and nap for half an hour to an hour.
    During her mid-afternoon nap, the same thing happens, and often she'll come off and then spend another half to one hour sleeping in my arms.

    I do enjoy this, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I've never been able to 'make' her nap in her cot during the day, but she sleeps in her cot at night and has done so since birth. Her day naps have only ever been in her bouncer, before she started this new habit.

    I feel like I 'should' be making her nap in her cot. I read books like the 'contented baby' by Gina Ford, and I feel like such a failure because we don't have a strict time schedule, even though we do have an unstructured routine. e.g. A mid-morning feed (time varies), an afternoon feed (time varies) etc.

    I guess I find it hard to deal with her crying while I'm sitting there patting and ssshhhing her, trying to make her nap in her cot. I've read about getting her to play in the cot during the day, so she'll get used to it. Maybe that will work?
    The only reason she sleeps in her cot at night, is because she is fed almost to sleep, so settles straight away. But putting her in her cot awake during the day is another matter!



    Anyone else been in this situation, where day naps aren't in the cot?? What should I do?

  2. #2

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    There is nothing you 'should' be doing. Do whatever works for your family. Perhaps stop reading that book, which from what I've heard isn't about contented babies, its about parents.

    I feed DS2 to sleep every sleep - occasionally he'll fall asleep in someone else's arms or in the pram or car seat. I'm happy with that, & enjoying the cuddles while I'm getting tham.

  3. #3

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    lose your gina ford book and go and buy some pinky mckay ones

  4. #4

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    Thanks girls.

    Oh I like that - it's about contented parents, not babies!
    See that's the thing - I love Pinky and I have read a couple of her books, but I don't think my specific situation has been addressed directly in any of them...

    I guess I compare myself to other mums A LOT - you know, the ones you have it all together... baby sleeps 12 hours a night etc.
    My sister-in-law is a doula, and was going on about how because she followed Gina Ford's routines from an early age, her baby is a 'good' sleeper. Actually, writing this, I now realize this is why I picked up the book at the library. Hmmm...

    All this stuff just makes me doubt myself! I feel like a bad parent because I had no clue about these things.... I just figured that you did what you were comfortable with, and what worked....
    My baby is happy....
    I just keep feeling like I've missed the boat or something.... But reading these forums, a lot of us are in the same boat and it's not necessarily a bad thing.

  5. #5

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    GD, just wanted to say that you are doing a great job! the fact that you are reaching out and seeking help makes you a good mum. In my opinion as you said above, you do what works for you! trust your instincts! My DS was/is a bit likeyou described in the OP, and to be honest, I have always just left him to sleep on my own bed as movng him would just wake him up. He sleeps with me at night now too, just so we can all sleep, instead of being up/down all night to him in the cot. you are not alone!

  6. #6

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    it sounds like you're following your instincts and are a great mum!

    i think anyone or any book that makes you feel like you 'should' be doing something that doesn't feel right, isn't worth listening to/reading.

    the reason that you have found that Pinky's books don't necessarily apply directly to your baby, is because no-one knows your baby the way that you do. i just think her books are great at giving people self-confidence in trusting their mothering instincts and enjoying the moment with their baby. the time goes so fast so don't waste it trying to get your baby to fit into a 'perfect baby' mould.
    xoxo

  7. #7

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    Hun, your baby is a 'good' sleeper, she just prefers to do it in your arms. To me, that sounds like, secure, attached, contented baby and Mum whose responsive to her baby's needs. I can't see where there's a problem. The only problem seems to be that you've picked up a book that doesn't fit your situation and it's made you feel bad. How would you feel about what you're doing if you'd never read it?

    My only suggestion is to perhaps try a sling or a carrier while she sleeps so you can get around if you want to. But if you don't want to then pffft to everyone/every book that's making you feel bad. You sound like an absolutely lovely Mum There is no 'should' in parenting and your baby will of her own accord learn to sleep alone when she's ready.

  8. #8

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    Thank you again everyone, and Jennifer, thank you for your sweet comments. I hadn't thought about that - that my baby feels secure, and that's why she enjoys sleeping in my arms, etc. I feel so much better about everything. Yay!

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