We are going through this phase with my DS who has just turned 2.
We are teaching him even now that every action has a consequence, even when it comes to choices with regards to food or playing outside or in, shoes or no shoes etc. It is a natural thing for a child to go through this process of changing their mind all the time. We offer a choice and recheck a few times but once his decision is made then that is final. That is his choice. So if DS chooses Vitabrits over porridge then it's Vitabrits. If a tantrum ensues we just let it unfold in front of us but if he needs a cuddle, he gets a cuddle as we never refuse kisses or cuddles in our house. I'm expecting, from what I've heard from friends that this phase lasts for quite a while too
Just a quick thought, but perhaps your little one isn't up to being given choices yet? What would happen if you just said: "Here is an apple for morning tea"?
Re dealing with the tantrum, we offer comfort if they want it, but if they don't then they can process it in their own way.
Also we try to put words to their feelings and show that we understand. Things like I know you are upset and I know that is frustrating that you can't have your orange. It is okay to be upset.
thanks ladies, for all your good advice. I do feel like we are on the right direction now.
I have tried to be a bit firmer with her, and limit the giving choices, and she seems to be OK with that, she will tell me if it's not what she wants, which has been good.
I have noticed too that DH is alot "softer" with her than I am, and she is such a "daddy's girl", so I had better watch that I think!
the tantrums have still been a bit difficult, she has often been too wound up to talk to, and then when it has passed, she doesn't seem to care anymore, so not sure whether I continue to try and explain to her or just let it go? just sort of playing that one by ear I guess.
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