Thank you so much for your post pip2jays!!!! I feel a lot less alone!
Evan didn't eat a thing tonight. DH wants to get tough with him. So i did agree to stick to it. Tonight i didn't give him his cruskit, but instead gave him exactly what we had. He FREAKED. He didn't touch a thing, but we made him sit there and at least participate in family dinner time. He was so upset and exhausted that he fell asleep at 6.30 when i was putting Zaccy to bed. I felt awful. he's in bed now and hasn't eaten a thing since 12.30 when he had a yoghut. I feel terrible.
DH is worried about Evan's health. I have to admit i do think he looks VERY pale, and a friend told me to look under his eyes and if it's not real pink then he could have iron deficiency. And its not. Pip2jays, are you worried about your son's health? I feel awful either way - when he doesn't eat anything he's not getting the nutrients he needs, and if i get tough with him, now i feel terrible that he's gone to bed with no dinner
I truly honestly believe it is a FEAR of foods. I just don't know the best way to help him through it.
LG i don't know how much help this is, but my DD had some pickiness earlier on and i did take the tough route. My job as i see it is to provide nutritious food, NOT to make her eat it. You gave him a choice and he chose. Yes, he went to bed hungry, but that was HIS decision. You didn't take his choices from him. This is a valuable time, he is learning about choice and consequences in a fair way. Your rules are fair and kind - you will all sit down together to have a meal, and you will all eat the same foods, and if anyone doesn't want to eat they don't have to. Try not to get caught up in his distress - food ISN'T dangerous or bad, his fear while real is misplaced and by responding to it by giving him something else to eat you are confirming his suspicion that there MUST be something wrong with the food. He will begin to eat. Try not to focus on him during mealtimes, don't make a fuss at his fuss. Remind him gently when he wants to get down that he mustn't, and talk as cheerfully as possible with anyone at the table who isn't freaking out.
Sometimes it's so painful when we have to be tough on our children, especially when (as i had) we might have decided in advance we were going to be our specific idea of gentle. But i tried all the fun etc. and it didn't work. DD needed very limited and clear parameters. Here is food. Eat or don't eat but you must sit here until i have finished - actually if it's a new food i let her get down IF she tastes everything on her plate at least once, and it can be a tiny taste. 90% of the time one tiny taste is enough for her to decide she likes it and eat it all up and the other 10%, well, no-one likes EVERYTHING.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks