Hi Kate,
just wanted to send and I hope thing improve soon. You are doing such a great job with your children. I definately agree that you need to try and find some sort of compromise between your and DH's parenting styles. I think that children's diets play a huge role in childrens behaviour, so all that junk food is not really helping the situation. Similarly with the Wii and T.V. would not be helping their attention spans and bedtime routine e.t.c. This is a really tough situation, I know it can be really hard when parenting styles differ between parents. I hope you find some way to make things work a bit better.
. . . Smash the TVs. That probably sounds ridiculous, but 2 TVs on at the same time, what the? If you get rid of the TVs, all the movies and the Wii, then it'll take at least as long as it takes DH to buy new ones. When he does, do it again! Eventually he'll get the idea. Obviously this is a last resort but if nothing else works, what does one do?
I've got number 3 arriving soon, and so DD2 decided to go from being perfect sleeper to needing me there all the time whilst falling asleep (and also afew weeks of INSANE tantrums at bedtime). DD1 is therefore getting to bed late. SO... I had to make a few changes. Firstly I did have to put them both in the same room (in a bunk) but DD1 only goes in once DD2 is asleep(unless it's after 8.30pm). DH was not being helpful so I decided we needed to talk! I said I was going to implement some rules that could not be broken and he'd have to follow. So this is what we've done:
1) Give her a choice, clean teeth first or nappy on first.
2) the two book rule. Pick two books and that is IT. DH was letting her have 5. This took a few nights but she got used to it. That is the thing, when setting the rules they will get used to it.
3) being organised, having DD1 ready for bed and homework done, and then she can watch some TV.
4) DH was doing nothing, so as of last week, he is now on teeth/nappy/story duty and I go in for sleep. I can't tell you how much this has destressed me. I was losing it too, and shouting and going insane, crying you name it, because DD2 was playing me. So now DH has to be responsible (which he'll need to be when Im in hospital) and it also shows him what I have to do. I find so far it's worked well. I think DD2 liked the reaction she got from me. She now knows there are firm rules, and I think it's helped DH realise we need rules.
Maybe if you could get your DH to do the bedtime routine? That way you're with the older one (like I am now) and we can have time together.
Good luck xoxo
Thank you all for the messages of support, I managed to get a good nights sleep which while not making much difference to the situation in general has greatly increased my moral!! Most of the problems/disagreements/whatever you want to call them are ongoing and have been an issue. We have generally disagreed on everything, even before we had kids!! Which begs the question.....but I won't go there. He was home from work today, and insisted on putting a Bob DVD on one TV and Nemo on the other, so that our nearly 2 year old would have a choice! But today it didn't cause a meltdown, I just kept going backwards and forwards switching them off, we played tag for about 3 hours, and finally when he realised that I had DS2 happily doing playdo he turned them both onto normal TV for himself. I actually found myself laughing at it!! I know the junkfood doens't help, and the wii and the TV, I can really only work on minimizing! I just have to take charge more, which some days I am better at than others!! But THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone for the posts that reminded me that I am not just a mean crazy whining nutbag!!
Oh, and cutting on the midday sleep and putting him to bed earlier has helped, we have a cranky couple of hours, but he is in bed and asleep by 7ish leaving me plenty of time to get my older one in at a reasonable time! Little battles win the war!!!!!
Thanks again,
Kate
Yep glad to hear things are improving, and in such a short time. It will get even better!! The trick is being consistent (with DH) he will get the message sooner or later! xo
and I hope thing improve soon. You are doing such a great job with your children. I definately agree that you need to try and find some sort of compromise between your and DH's parenting styles. I think that children's diets play a huge role in childrens behaviour, so all that junk food is not really helping the situation. Similarly with the Wii and T.V. would not be helping their attention spans and bedtime routine e.t.c. This is a really tough situation, I know it can be really hard when parenting styles differ between parents. I hope you find some way to make things work a bit better.
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