it depends what it is
getting dressed - either DS does it himself or he goes around in his pjs/naked (he doesn't want to do that)
teeth - he does it or we do it for him (that one is non-negotiable) and he hates it if we do it
sometimes i word it like - let's do x now, come on. And it's like a thing we're doing together, but actually we're each doing it for ourselves. He really objects to being told what to do, so sometimes changing the wording of things is helpful.
Also I think he's figured this is a way to demand attention and tiem together, so sometimes if I say 'ok, go get dressed quickly so we can do x' then that works.
good luck