I don't have any solutions and it seems you're on the up anyway. I just had something to offer to take into your next 'battle of wills'. It's this: it's possible (and highly likely) that she does not see the compromises as 'rewards'. Kids are far more evolved than Skinner's rats and far more complex feelings and thoughts are racing through that 3 year old brain She wants to be understood and she likes having you near - that's what I see from your post. It's at odds with what you want to be doing with that time (rushing back to the little one) and this is possibly where the frustration is coming in. There's something she's communicating that is being missed in the cross-fire, and regularity may be a big part of it, so you're on your way already