This was all I was trying to say.
FWIW and to maybe shed a bit of light from the 'other side' of those who have used CC and would use it again (I would even recommend it to others if they asked for my opinion and I thought it an appropriate option. You don't have to agree, but just realise that whatever you think of my employment of CC - I am very well researched on the topic and that there are MANY different methods and variations of CC out there.
- I have had 3 very different children / babies. I have used CC and I have used comforting methods - with all three at various stages. I have not been IMO a neglectful mother.
It is painful to hear your baby scream themselves to sleep - With my DD it took anywhere between 5mins up to an hour for her to fall asleep. I know there are members here that will read this and be appalled. IT was a hard thing to do.
What is even more painful is holding her for hours upon hours on end while she continuously screamed and refused to sleep. She would NOT sleep if another person was near her. She needed sleep. Not just because she was overtired and generally miserable, not just because I needed a break and was at the edge of my rope (although those were both true) but because the lack of sleep was actually making her phyisically ill.
When she got into a routine with CC (it took less then a week) She no longer cried for more then 1min before going to sleep. I suddenly had a well rested and HAPPY baby - something I had not experienced before. She was miserable before. Before long there was no crying. She has been a great sleeper ever since, and she has been a very happy little girl.
My DS1 has never been a good sleeper, but he would easily settle if cuddled - we co-slept more often then not. Still do sometimes, he is nearly 3. Breifly tried CC with him when I was heavily pg and comforting him repeatedly throughout the night was near impossible (I won't even attempt to describe my mental state at the time) - CC really didn't suit him, so we gave up nearly as soon as we started.
DS2 - I would have happily have co-slept and comforted to sleep - in fact we did for the first 6+ mths. But as he got older, he didn't like that idea anymore, and would keep everyone awake. Babies need sleep. I tried CC again. Worked like magic. In fact it almost wasn't like CC - he just knew what was going on and that being put in his cot meant sleep time. It felt natural to do things this way with him. Occaisionly he might be unsettled or cry a little - but it was definitely in a "my mum is not letting me stay up and play" way, not a "my mum is neglecting me" way. He is the happiest baby I have ever met - seriously. And if the only time he cried was for 2 mins when being put to bed at night (out of the whole 24hr period - he didn't even cry when hungry or needing a new nappy) well, I hardly think you can claim that is neglect.
I wholeheartedly agree that people should follow their instincts when parenting. I just think some of you here are making a mistake in thinking that parents AREN'T following their instincts when they employ techniques or methods different to what you feel is the natural corse of action or that you are uncomfortable with. They aren't 'wrong' they aren't 'neglectful' (I think neglectful parents put a lot less thought and energy into their parenting) - they just don't agree with you or your opinions.
CC - does not nessecarily mean not comforting your children. I know my children, I know when they are in need of comfort and when something is out of the ordinary. When they are sick or truely upset they will be comforted, they know mum is never far away.
Just a different point of veiw for you to consider, before declaring that those who practise CC are abusing or neglecting their kids. Then again, maybe you still think this is the case, but I doubt very much that my children or anyone who knows me and my family would agree with that.
Edited to say - I don't want to convert anyone here. I think if you don't have to use it, or don't want to "more power to you!" That is fab. I don't think it should be used by everyone, ideally no-one would need to use it. I certainly think a couple of weeks old is too young. Just trying to show that what may seem blackk and white often isn't so simple.
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