I'm feeling a bit lost about my son's tantrums and wondering if I should be getting him help, or if his behaviour is normal because it seems more extreme than most other children.

He is 2 1/4 and has major tantrums with back arching, crying, screaming and banging his head against walls or the floor. As soon as he gets slightly irritable he will look for a surface to bang his head against- that's his standard to response sp he bangs his head frequently through the day.

I'm a pretty gentle parent and understanding. I work with children in early childhood and my predominant skill has always been non-verbal communcation, reading a child's signs and listening to them so that tantrums are not usually an issue. So I'm really lost, and frankly very disheartened to be in this position. He seems to think I am always saying "no" to him and he has no patience. I know patience is rare at this age but for example, if he sees the peanut butter and asks for some and I say "okay" but turn to get a knife etc he seems to think I'm not getting for him and within seconds he's thrown himself on the floor and started banging his head. Then he's so worked up he wont listen to me and actually get the peanut butter sandwich.

Today at playgroup he completely lost the plot and had a screaming fit in my arms and on the floor for about 15 minutes. Longest 15 minutes of my life while half the other mum's keep coming over and trying to "help" and suggesting I take him outside. I can't carry him when he's like that and it's cold outside and the ground is concrete- do they just want him away? They are a pretty understanding bunch generally but now I feel all this doubt that I should be "doing" something... but I'm not sure what?? I reassure him, offer him cuddles and try to soothe him till he calms down. I offer him things that I suspect he wanted and were the problem to see if he just can't verbalise his wanting those things and that's why he's upset. I'm not sure what else to do really and I'm not sure there is anything else to do in that moment but how do we live with these outbursts in public? Turned out today he had wanted to go outside. He hadn't told me that at all so I didn't know that's what he was upset about but once he was calm and in the car he finally said it!

Should I be suspecting dietary or developmental causes of these tantrums? Or just keep expecting him to grow through them? I'm so unsure and lost right now