OT but... Hi Tan!
Sorry Mel LOL. Quick question, what does your DH do with your DS when he is in the room with him? Natty used to want me to pat her bottom, sing to her etc. This was stringing bedtime out for a long time even though everything I was doing was low key (ie we weren't chatting or playing games). Lately though our routine is stories, tuck her in, kisses & quick chat about what's happening tomorrow then I 'sign off' by saying goodnight and I love her. Then I sit down at the end of the bed and wait. I either doze (and sometimes DH has to come in and wake me up, LOL!) or I play a game on my phone. I just relax but Natty and I don't interact at all. This seems to be all she needs and without me singing or patting her she is actually better able to get to sleep.
Not sure if this is relevant to your situation (perhaps your DH already does this or perhaps this might be a bit sad for your DS) but it has really helped our situation and Natty adjusted to the change easily.
I wouldn't blame youself about CIO when he was a bub 'cause my DS needs to have someone with him to fall asleep too and we didn't CIO - I fed him to sleep until he was 2 1/2 so I was blaming that. He's just starting to go to sleep without DH beside him in bed. DH reads him a book (or Top Gear magazine) and then tells him a story while sitting by the bed (often long and dull) and he drops off. I think in the last night or two he's left while DS is dozy but not asleep, saying he'll be back in a few mins.
So in summary, you're not the only one, its not your fault and it does get better.
DH and DS have a bit of routine at night - just a funny little thing that they say every night. DH says to DS "No crying, no play, no yelling out, just sleeping" then he repeats "No..." and DS says "crying" etc. It come about after we went through a bit of rough patch of DS not wanting to sleep without someone in his room.. It is DS's special thing that he does with his daddy and he loves it and it seems to work on him. If we have a night when he does mess around, then DH will go back in and repeat it, and then leave the room. He also has a music box that plays a light show on the ceiling and a song for 10 mins, which for us is kind of good indicator of time to go back in etc.
And although DS sleeps really well (*touch wood!!*), every Friday night DH will actually lay down on the bed with him and listen while I do the stories and then Dh will lay with him until he (yes, both DS and DH most of the time ) falls asleep. DS loves it - he is learning his days of the week so he knows Fridays are creche day and sleeping with Daddy in his room.
Mel: I think it's bad sleep hygine to spend so much time in the bedroom trying to get him to sleep. You should only try for 20 mins at time (this goes for adults too). My sister is a psych and she says one of the worst things you can do while you're trying to go to sleep is stay in bed and get frustrated. We do all our night time routine in the lounge. We read books, have cuddles chat about what happened today and what will be happening tomorrow. Then we walk him to bed, tuck him in, give him a kiss and promptly leave. This works really well. He knows bed is for sleep and that's all. If he calls out we go in say 'head on pillow, close your eyes mummy loves you' then turn around and walk out. We just repeat this over and over with cuddles if he is upset.
I hope this helps an you guys get a bit of your night back.
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) falls asleep. DS loves it - he is learning his days of the week so he knows Fridays are creche day and sleeping with Daddy in his room.
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