how do i or can i teach consequences

[kelebek]

He has learnt that if he does something well for the first time, he hears the words "good boy" or "well done" - in fact he says this to himself if he has just done something he finds tricky and I haven't realised just how much skill he needed for this task. He has learnt to take pride in his achievements, which is great.

This is such a cute picture RH and I think it is wonderful that he is taking pride in his achievements. I also agree that I think it is healthy to teach kids that we as parents and adults don't always know or have the right answers but we teach them how to look for those answers. I also agree that a child shouldn't be put in a situation where they are told things that shouldn't be their worry.

I also like looking at time out more about removing them from the situation and distracting them then putthing them in the naughty corner so this is a great perspective.

Thanks Jen, I am currently a member of the ABA and would love a copy of Pinky's book about toddler tactics so I will be renewing very soon

Now RH you and others have mentioned about every action having an equal and opposite reaction and this has got me thinking (and yes I could be too pandantic here so feel free to tell me) I certainly believe that every action has a reaction I just get a bit hung up with 'equal and opposite' part.... see I am probably looking at this the wrong way... does this mean if kids act in a positive way the opposite reaction to this is that they are treated in a negative way, the same way you flip the coin and so the reaction is the opposite of the action or is it more a step by step process so child acts in a positive way so the reaction is also positive because it perpetuates itself and like attracts like - does that make sense cause I tend to drive myself crazy with these sorts of thoughts that just go round in circles ...

[Oorki Galoorki]

So how do I teach consequences? Can I teach that every action has an equal and opposite reaction? Yes. I can teach DS that if he does ABC then XYZ happens. And he can see that's logical - if he pushes a train, it moves. If he pulls the light cord in the bathroom, the light comes on. Push the buzzer and the bell rings. Hit Mammy and she stops cuddling you. Those are all logical reactions.

this is i think what i need to remember the most!

on our way to church this morning DS says "mummy, your my friend!" and my responce was "thankyou i would love you to be your friend but im also your mummy so that means i have an extra job to look after you and our family"
he pondered this for a minute and then said"mummy i have 2 friends" and i said "do you? who are they?"
"you and daddy"

so i think you can be a friend and a parent

[Smoke Jaguar]

That is so beautiful, Doudou!
Really, who are the two people who teach and show their kids about how to treat other people? We are! When the chips are down, our kids need to know that have at least two friends

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Doudou, that's gorgeous!

Equal and opposite: think of it in that if you push something, then a force is exerted to stop that push from moving the object. So if DS does something negative, my reaction is to extend my force/will to stop that. Of course, my standards for him are such that if he does something good, he's pushing away from my standard so my praise is pulling him back up to the mark. Just think about the pleased reaction when DS says "thank you" unprompted: that is the equal and opposite reaction because when he hits the standard I don't have to push or pull, I can just enjoy. Does that make sense? Our forces are at 0, which is the way we want it to be, so we are happy.