While I completely agree with the idea of a bedtime/naptime routine (always have done this with DD), I think learning to self-settle is also a developmental thing. And like anything developmental some babies/children will go through it earlier and some later. Every child has its own personality and some will want more comfort (at any time, not just sleep time), some less. At their own pace, with some gentle encouragement, I personally think every child comes around to settling independently (same as they learn to walk independently, feed independently, toilet independently and so on). If you are making it easy for your child to fall asleep (usually happily), then you won't be creating any barriers to them learning to do it by themselves, when they're ready. (As opposed to CC or CIO, where they just learn there is no point to objecting to something they don't like or aren't ready for). And I agree with Cai and the others that a routine is not something that is mutually exclusive to gentle parenting. Without a set pattern at bedtime I think my DD would find every excuse in the book to slow down going to bed!

Does that make sense?