How do they learn to self settle??

[Liz]

I haven't read all of the replies... but just want to give my experience.

DS fed to sleep from day one until he was about 2. He was night weaned around 15 mths when I was pregnant, but still fed to sleep at bed time. This eventually changed to feeding then sitting or lying with him until he slept. Then at around 2 1/2 (I think... would be interesting to read older posts to see exact times LOL... it's all fading into one foggy memory now) I started leaving him during day naps and if he stayed in bed he got loads and loads of praise and he was so excited. So for a while it was a mixture of me staying & going and lots of praise (maybe a couple of weeks??) Then I could just pretty much kiss him goodnight and leave him to it. There were stages where we attempted self settling with him to see if it was the right time, and it obviously wasn't, so we just kept going until he was ready. I don't think I trained him at all... just gently guided him as he became more ready.

DD has been different. She self settled for a good 7 months.. then started needing rocking to sleep. When this stopped working we moved to feeding on the bed and sitting/lying with her. We're still sitting with her and she's now 2. We've attempted it a few times getting her to go to sleep by herself. Have had a few successes (think we got lucky when she was just purely exhausted LOL) but generally I don't think she's quite ready. I'll just keep trying now & then and praising when she stays in bed.

So from my experience... I was happy to help them sleep (yes it irritates me some nights) knowing they would do it eventually one day. I just don't have the energy to "train" my kids (same goes for TT.. waited until DS was totally ready and there was little training involved! LOL) and DS is, for the most part, a fantastic self settler and sleeper now. No crying or training involved. He does now take the day's favourite toy to bed, but never used it as a comforter or anything.

Just think of bed time as your down time.. read a book or read BB LOL while they drift off.. and everyone's happy Just go with what you're comfortable doing.. your baby doesn't HAVE to do anything a certain way, and there's nothing wrong with you being the comforter.. no need to introduce an artificial one

That's my opinion from my experience anyway