I know how you feel, and yes it is really hard sometimes but I have learnt not to give advice/alternatives when it isn't asked for in situations like that because we all know how easy it is to feel judged for our parenting choices and if we were to do the same to someone else by saying something then we only perpetuate the cycle kwim? I do however vent about it afterwards because I can't keep it bottled up inside when something goes against what I believe. Instead of saying something that may be taken the wrong way, make an offer of help - like ask if you can hold the baby, or do you need a hand - they may take you up on the offer. Or alternatively when you see them again you could bring into the conversation alternative ways of doing things that you've found helpful. Good luck, it is never easy this parenting caper is it? Even when we are doing what is right for us, we are confronted with other parents doing what is right for them.