I am a full time SAHM, I am lucky in that dh makes good money, but we still stick to a budget every fortnight (he gets paid fortnightly which does make it harder IMO). We actually called all our service providers (elect, phone etc) and we pay a certain amount each fortnight for the bills, we pay rates and water rates this way too (it stops you from getting a massive bill all at once). We pay our car insurance in one go so it doesn't take up any extra money each month, we only get 6months rego at a time (it doesn't cost extra and it works for us), we go grocery shopping once per fortnight (except fresh fruit and vegies which is every few days). We also manage to save quite a bit each fortnight too, it goes into another bank account as soon as dh gets paid and we don't miss it. We are also entitled to some money from centrelink each fortnight (we usually buy nappies and wipes in bulk with this money).
It is doable, but some sacrafices must be made: we don't go out very often (its cheaper to have a night at a friends place for a bbq or a karaoke night at our place), we only go to the shops if really needed, we put things on layby instead of buying them straight out and one big thing is WE DO NOT HAVE CREDIT CARDS!! this stops us buying things on credit and having another bill come in. If we can't afford it buy it, we save for it or layby it - NO FINANCE.
But in saying all this, don't feel guilty about going to work, it is difficult I know, but some ppl just don't have a choice and they have to go to work and put their kids in care. Is it possible for you to stay home while you find the right child care for your ds and transition him into it?
Panda, I just wanted to give you hugs
I am working part-time & would love to be home with my DD2. We need the money & it's actually good for my depression & anxiety to work (go figure )
She is in FDC & seems very happy, so that makes it easier.. but it doesn't stop me wishing I could just stay home & play with her all day.
The others have given you some good advice & I hope you find something that works for you soon
Panda - big This has been a big struggle for me too, I had a touch of the grass is greener syndrome, lol. I felt quite isolated and lonely when at home full time and I also felt like I should not be spending money - so would only occasionally buy coffee, clothes etc. This was all about me too I should add. However when at work I felt like I was doing the wrong thing by my kids and as a consequence was going to scar them for life (a wee bit OTT also).
The biggest change was in myself - what I thought I wanted prior to the girls arrival was very different to where I found myself afterwards. It was time for a compromise....I was lucky enough to delay my return to work with DD2 until she was 1, whereas I went back when DD1 was 7 months. I also now only work 5 days a fortnight with the girls going to care 2 days, my folks have them 2 days and DH has them once (his RDO). We had planned for me to return to work fulltime when DD is 2 - not sure what planet that seemed realistic on BUT this amount of work is it for me for the forseeable future.
We considered selling the house and moving but came to the conclusion we would regret that decision and not be able to buy back in.
Good luck in your soul searching - unfortunately only you can know what will work best for your family but be sure that there are many combinations and ideas that you can work with to suit your own individual needs. xxxx
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