Panda - big This has been a big struggle for me too, I had a touch of the grass is greener syndrome, lol. I felt quite isolated and lonely when at home full time and I also felt like I should not be spending money - so would only occasionally buy coffee, clothes etc. This was all about me too I should add. However when at work I felt like I was doing the wrong thing by my kids and as a consequence was going to scar them for life (a wee bit OTT also).
The biggest change was in myself - what I thought I wanted prior to the girls arrival was very different to where I found myself afterwards. It was time for a compromise....I was lucky enough to delay my return to work with DD2 until she was 1, whereas I went back when DD1 was 7 months. I also now only work 5 days a fortnight with the girls going to care 2 days, my folks have them 2 days and DH has them once (his RDO). We had planned for me to return to work fulltime when DD is 2 - not sure what planet that seemed realistic on BUT this amount of work is it for me for the forseeable future.
We considered selling the house and moving but came to the conclusion we would regret that decision and not be able to buy back in.
Good luck in your soul searching - unfortunately only you can know what will work best for your family but be sure that there are many combinations and ideas that you can work with to suit your own individual needs. xxxx