Hi, I think you're doing your best.

I work as a clinical psychologist/counsellor with children and their families. I'm also a mother to a 16-months-old, who is starting to assert her independence!

I think that the keys to a well behaved & happy child are 1) having clear rules/boundaries and 2) stick to them consistently, 3) while still being mindful about your child's emotional state and developmental stage.

Tantrum is a very normal phase of development, and children usually grow out of it by about 5 years of age. We can, and it is important to, teach our children to be polite, caring, etc while our children are still going through this stage. It is also important to see if your child is ready to listen to what you have to say - ie, has s/he calmed down enough? does she feel listened to (eg, parent accept s/he's feeling upset)?

Having said these, well, I'm finding my DD's "little" tanrum can already be a big challenge!!! Parenting, what a joyful yet demanding job