Mums with two close together - please help!

[LuluHB]

How do you do it?? How do you balance when a newborn needs a feed and your 12 month old needs a bottle or a cuddle or lunch or to go to bed? I'm having to choose between my daughters and its breaking my heart - one of them is left crying and unhappy and I can't explain to either of them that I love them and will be there for her as soon as I can. Any advice would be so gratefully received.

[Beach Mama]

Just wanted to give you a huge amount of you are doing a fabulous job and I can imagine how hard it must be sweety.

[Phteven]

I know how hard it is.
I just tried to balance the urgency of their need. It's easy to often put the newborn first so I tried to make a point of sometimes putting my eldest first.
If my littlest one was tired that came first because once he was alseep I could spend more quality time with my older one.
After a while I got better at juggling them - I could BF one while feeding the other or lie down and put them both to sleep at the same time.
You're doing a fab job and it will get easier.

[visitor1]

Hang in there hun, you are doing fine. Theres less then 11 months between my 2 girls and yep its hard but i set myself into a routine and its going great.

Right from DD2 coming home she would have her needs met first. DD2 would be juggled into between feeds and sleep.

Now that both are a bit older they both get up at the same time of a morning. DD1 gets fed first while DD2 plays. DD2 has her feed then 1-2 hours later she goes to bed. DD1 and i play, go outside, watch tv etc, then morning tea and DD2 gets up. Lunch time i make DD1 lunch and DD2 bottle and they eat together. At 1.30 they both go to bed until 4 or so then get up and play. DD2 has her bottle. Tea time DD2 goes to bed and gets up afterward. Both shower, play bottle then bed by 8-830. The it all starts again at 8am the next day!

I roughly meet the demands of each DD every 2 hours. Without a routine id not have coped though!!

[Nelle]

Ah...I found the first week was the hardest. A trick I've found handy is to pop newborn in a baby carrier while dealing with the toddler.
And a book or toy we can play with together during feeds, so all three will sometimes be on the couch together (til Riv gets bored and runs off!). Or I have a few bikkies ready for Riv during feeds, not sure if yours is old enough for finger food, but I lure him away with biscuits when he's doing something naughty :P and he's not put out cos he's got a treat.

All the best hon, hang in there til you find your groove - and you will find it!

[mbear]

My latter two girls are 19 months apart - and i have a 4yr old....

In the early, early days, I found bed time especially when DH was on nightshift a logistical nightmare !!! - how on earth was i going to put three little people to bed all on my own ?? But yeah, i agree with Dacholstar, i had to attend to my then 19month old and the older one first then DD#3 . It broke my heart, but if i had to put DD#2 to bed, or i had to change her bottom, or she wanted a drink, i would have to put my newborn down - she would scream the house down, but if DD#2 was content for at least the next 10mins, then that 10mins i could concentrate on getting DD#3 to sleep/fed/changed.

I also 'premeditated' the situation before i breastfed, or put DD#3 to sleep. Made sure they had their sippy cups at hand, they had a snack, their fave DVD was handy, their bottoms were changed.....it makes for a more relaxed mummy.......

I was in tears a lot during the first 6 weeks....'what have i done? ' wandered thru my mind a lot. And i know it aint gonna help much me saying this, but it does get better. Its a change for ALL of you, and you all have to re-adjust. In anything in life we do thats new, its gonna take a few goes at it before we get it right.....

good luck.