just came home from taking oscar to the park where he was playing happily with a 4 year old girl. well he hit her, the little girls mum was there and screamed at oscar no, no, no, you naughty naughty girl (she thought he was a girl *shrug*). she left with her daughter who was dry eyed - not distressed at all - and went and bought her an ice cream because the 'naughty girl' hit her.

ok so i have never ever called my kids 'naughty'. i believe in gentle parenting only and i see this as shaming and blaming. oscar shouldn't have hit the girl but gosh she just went over the top (by the way the girl was a good head and shoulders taller than oscar). if oscar hits we just say that we don't do that and to have soft gentle hands, we address his frustrations and move on. well i picked him up and he dissolved into tears, sobbing and wouldn't look at me. we sat for a while whilst he released his sadness and had a breastfeed and then i asked him what happened he said occar hit and her say occar nordy (naughty). so we discussed that oscar is not naughty and kids are learning not naughty and we don't hit cos it hurts people. he was so distressed on and off i let it go for a while. we picked up the boys from school and the first thing he says is occar nordy. so we are trying to build his self esteem again. i just feel so cross that this woman would bully a baby like that.

i didn't actually say anything to the woman because i know if this is her attitude she is more likely to get angry at me and i didn't want to put oscar through such an ordeal. i could see her as one of those ranting raving mothers that is just not nice to be around and i certainly didn't want oscar to go through anything more.

so it doesn't matter, i guess, how hard you put in to be positive and attached and gentle there is always someone out there that can have 1 minute contact with your child and leave them for you to rebuild and heal.

grr i feel angry
beckles