Pinky's blogs today

[Arcadia]

I don't think pinky needs to apologise per se because she obviously means what she wrote. Her business will probably be hurt, but it is almost as if she doesn't care.

I'm worried that in all the diplomatic, politically correct communication we all strive for, we are actually mostly just offended because she is taking an extreme view (and swearing lots!). I actually like the passion I see in her writing. Sure she might be isolating a lot of people, but maybe that's her new direction (ie away from any hint of mainstream).

It's hard when many of us agree with her ideas, but we end up arguing over the way she communicated them. Is there no room for an impassioned rant in our society? Genuine question. I can see why there's no room for such a rant in her business setting, but what about just as a spokesperson who knows a lot about babies?

[Jellyfish]

I dont take issue with how she said it, more who she said it to. If she directed it at baby tamer professionals then I think she might have actually got through to some parents she wants to help. Saying like she hates the lie parents are being sold, she feels frustrated FOR new paremts rather than AT them. Be on their side, in their corner against the ideas theyve been led to believe that she disagrees with. Set herself alongside parents up against the right enemy instead of making parents the enemy (problem). Does that make sense?

[myturn]

We are all entitled to have a rant every now and then, but when we do we have to accept the consequences that some people might be offended, and decide how will we deal with that. Personally, I don't want to offend people, and so if I do accidentally rant cause I have just had enough - I genuinely will feel embarrassed, and want to apologise - while acknowledging that my points are still valid.

It goes for everything in life - we are entitled to have an opinion, say what we like, do want we like etc etc etc... But there are consequences for our behaviour - whatever that might be... And we have to accept those consequences... There might be a reason for the behaviour that may be perfectly acceptable, but the consequence is the same.... Someone is hurt... And then we have to decide how we manage or deal with that. I think she could have posted her second blog as the first one, and maybe given people the chance to understand first... It's the same message, just a little more respectful.

For me, it's not the swearing that's the exact issue... I swear... It's okay to swear... It's the insinuation and derision she has with the language she chose that is unprofessional. It doesn't offend me. I just think she is very silly, and perhaps... Just a little bit mean.

i also think that baby tamer professionals are only (for the most part) doing what they think is right - it's their job, and I really don't think that most people go into it trying to hurt people. They are just trying to help, like she is. They have it wrong in her opinion, but that's only her opinion... Most theories have some elements of truth or benefit, sometimes they just get taken to the extreme. I guess that's why I subscribe to an eclectic approach.... Try what works for you...!

[Arcadia]

Yep makes sense. I also don't like the us v them attitude her posts have seemed to fuel.

Can 'parenting help' itself be to blamed, or perhaps just the overload of information? I know I think information is good, but I think there is an overload of parenting advice put there that makes even the most confident person confused.

[Floweryfields]

Is there no room for an impassioned rant in our society? Genuine question. I can see why there's no room for such a rant in her business setting, but what about just as a spokesperson who knows a lot about babies?

OK, well let me honestly tell you there are plenty of parents in my line of work who make me want to rant, quite frequently. I see a lot of stupid stuff! But how do you think you as one of my parents would feel if I ranted about you on a public form of media? It certainly would not be professional or ethical even.
So no, as much as I'd like to rant openly about people/things, I have to rant privately, to my colleagues who rant along with me! There's the defining line, the work vs private thing. Rant as much as you like in private, but when you start naming names and pointing fingers in public, be ready for the fall out!

I'm not sure it's your given right to rant openly about anything that annoys you.

[Jellyfish]

To further clarify, in birth activism do people get ****ed off at those who have been led to believe they need intervention they don't or do they support them to get ****ed of at those who have misled them? It just seems cruel to me to insult and set up such division if you think someone has been through the disservice of being misled (which Pinky obviously believes tamers are misinformed, I'm trying to come from her perspective of being 'right' and tamers 'wrong', my opinion about it all is irrelevant as it is her delivery that completely misses the mark imo). Shouldn't she be angry FOR these parents and not just their babies. The parents are as much a victim of this tamer culture she is against as the babies are!

If she is so concerned for these babies, the best way is to position herself alongside parents and not against them. To protect those babies from what she believes should not be happening to them, she needs their parents trust and respect!

And it saddens me to feel this way about something Pinky has written. I don't want to completely beat her down because I feel kind of sorry for her. I feel she is misguided in the actual cause of her frustration and it has probably alienated a lot of potential converts. I imagine she is just so tired of swimming in the tide against her beliefs that she has lost sight of where her opposition actually lies. She has spent so long fighting the same battle she doesn't realise the problem isn't the parents but that they have a problem and the source of that goes far beyond the individual. The irony is it is very parallel to how she feels these parents are beginning to see their children.

[myturn]

I too think information is good, I think it's the extremism that makes people confused, if you say that "my way is the best way" and someone else is saying the same thing - people get confused...

I think if you say "here try this, it worked for me" you are allowing people to try, and respecting that it might not work for them... But that there are benefits in all different ways and styles under different circumstances.

I really do think that in particular if you are in a helping profession it's important to have that kind of attitude, otherwise you alienate people who, are only trying their best.

I think she is clearly frustrated and it must be annoying being so 'nice' in a world that is telling people babies are manipulative.... Perhaps sometimes you have to fight fire with fire...

But I will be honest here. I have heard of her, but its the first time I have read anything of hers.

I have yet to figure out what kind of parent I will be - pretty sure it will incorporate a bunch of different things from a bunch of different theories - rather than this one suits me best....

Reading her post for the first time - when I could see so many people in here respect her.... I felt a bit surprised.... She didn't seem the warm caring person in that post. Didn't make me want to grab her books and read up. Ill give her the benefit of the doubt, but..... Ill be worried my questions are dumb...

[Arcadia]

Shouldn't she be angry FOR these parents and not just their babies. The parents are as much a victim of this tamer culture she is against as the babies are!

If she is so concerned for these babies, the best way is to position herself alongside parents and not against them. To protect those babies from what she believes should not be happening to them, she needs their parents trust and respect!.

Yes I think this is very true. I also think she has stirred up a worthy debate and given her name a PR boost but sadly has lost a lot of hard earned respect.

[Mum2twoBoys]

I find it hard to follow pinky, as I suffered/suffer from pnd and she seems to make no leniences for this. And all I end up feeling is useless and selfish when I read her stuff. Not saying that's how it's meant. It's just how it makes me feel. And trust me that doesn't help me to become a better mother for my child.

[wysiwyg]

Seems like Pinky is going to be interviewed for Today Tonight tomorrow - assume as a result of the blog posts. I thought the blog posts awful but haven't got anything good to say about Today Tonight as an informative program- I just hope it doesn't do more harm thsn good.

[Frangipani Lou]

Pinky put out a request for responsive parents to be there today at The Basin. Not sure what time though or why that location.

[Cassius2]

I find it hard to follow pinky, as I suffered/suffer from pnd and she seems to make no leniences for this. And all I end up feeling is useless and selfish when I read her stuff. Not saying that's how it's meant. It's just how it makes me feel. And trust me that doesn't help me to become a better mother for my child.

I have had the same reaction WM. When I was in a very dark place with DD1 and desperate for support and some love and guidance I made the mistake of reading one of her articles and being told that my depression will destroy my baby's happiness and condemn her to a life of depression herself. It was a huge slap in the face and it made me realise that just because people promote gentle parenting, it doesnt actually make them nice people ITMS. That is why i guess i wasnt offended or surprised by her outburst. Her words have always, to me, been laced with judgement and derision.

I like what she promotes (gentle parenting) but I do choose to seek my support elsewhere.

[meow]

Hmm... okay, I guess I can see how when you're in the depths of depression and you can't think straight about picking your baby up or what on earth is going on then a blog post like this feels really harsh and personal.

I know though that Pinky has supported many mothers with PND and having met her personally and sobbed through our session she was the kindest and most helpful beacon of light I came across so I love her to bits and know she's a gentle soul.

But she's also a firey woman, which I relate to so it didn't surprise me she gets mad and swears.

I completely believe this blog post was not at all directed to anyone suffering any sort of emotional detachment and struggling with how to respond to a child. I have friends exactly like the people she described who were not suffering emotional detachment but chose to parent through routines and would stand watching their baby crying on a TV monitor and would possibly ask why the baby wont stop... when really they know the baby *would* stop if they picked them up, they're just looking for another answer.

[Trillian]

Hmm... okay, I guess I can see how when you're in the depths of depression and you can't think straight about picking your baby up or what on earth is going on then a blog post like this feels really harsh and personal.

I know though that Pinky has supported many mothers with PND and having met her personally and sobbed through our session she was the kindest and most helpful beacon of light I came across so I love her to bits and know she's a gentle soul.

But she's also a firey woman, which I relate to so it didn't surprise me she gets mad and swears.

I completely believe this blog post was not at all directed to anyone suffering any sort of emotional detachment and struggling with how to respond to a child. I have friends exactly like the people she described who were not suffering emotional detachment but chose to parent through routines and would stand watching their baby crying on a TV monitor and would possibly ask why the baby wont stop... when really they know the baby *would* stop if they picked them up, they're just looking for another answer.

Unfortunately though most of the people who come across Pinky will not have had that prior knowledge of her and know where she's coming from on this one. Most would take it as a personal attack on them, even though we all know it wasn't.

[Frangipani Lou]

The interview with today tonight is apparently showing sometime this week.

[Beach Mama]

You know, this thing is still baffling me..(Keeps popping up on my fb feed too so I keep thinking about it). Who was the blog post aimed at??

New mums?? Apparently not.
Parents who are "tamers" by her definition? If they have tried "taming" (and I still find that term really offensive and divisive) and it didn't work and are asking for help?
Trolls? Why bother.

I just can't work out why and what she was trying to achieve?? I have always liked what Pinky is trying to do, but still just don't get these posts.

I am a teacher and yep EVERYONE has to vent at some point in time, of course it's ok to vent, swear, scream and debrief etc. but as a teacher can you imagine me blogging online as Mrs S. and going off about the dumb questions I get? Or even going on FB to vent? Or even on BB? To answer a PP's question about whether or not people can have a vent and blow off steam, I think in some cases, no I don't think you can in a public setting.

[willow5]

Maybe it was all about the babies, not the parents. Just a complete brainsnap not really aimed at anyone, just coming from her belief in what she does and feeling for babies she felt could be upset by poor info and being as she put it 'tamed'

[wysiwyg]

My personal opinion based on the bit Kelly posted saying the idea of the FAQ had been discussed, and an FB post from Pinky saying something along the lines of shame took some F-Bombs to get on TV , and the fact was a blog post which must have been reviewed reread before she posted it - is the blog post was a calculated risk - to get publicity - which has worked and to solidify fan base which has probably worked. To me that is the only logical explanation.

I can't compute that she would publish a blog post without thinking, or that there is any other reason to be so divisive. I don't agree with it, sometimes the end does not justify the means.