I'm not sure if i'm a "gentle" parent.... I don't smack because i think it is disrespectful to hit people and if i don't respect my DD how can i expect her to respect me? I didn't do CC because it felt cruel and if it feels cruel then it is cruel IMO, following our internal moral compass is the most important thing.
Having said that i DO have strict routines (not with BFing or anything, that was as and when DD wanted it) with some things. Bedtime, naptime, mealtimes are delineated and inter-related so there is a rythmic flow to our days. DD seems to respond well to this and finds chaos unsettling (i don't know if i decided to have routines because she's this way or if my routines made her this way..) and i find we have more fun times when everyone knows what's happening next.
I am a strict mum, if i say no i mean it, but i encourage discussion, even now when DD cannot talk, i explain to her WHY mumma said no, and then offer alternative activities. Again, just now, she responds well. I try to be firm but fun, strict on key issues but honest and flexible about less important things. I never ignore her. Bedtime is bedtime and there is no getting up again, but i go to her if she needs me in the night and i always have (she co-slept when i BFed and i moved her into her own cot and room at 6months, mainly because DP was staying occasionally and i wanted to keep them apart until i was sure of him. Having already known him for 5 years i knew he was a wonderful man but i thought if me and him were going to be together forever there was no rush for her to be co-sleeping with him, and if we weren't going to be together forever there was no NEED for her to know him. A year on they are getting to know and love one another and it's beautiful to see she knows who Dada AND who DP is, without confusion) and, perhaps consequently, perhaps not, she doesn't usually need me in the night. If she does something i don't like (ripping up books, emptying couscous onto the kitchen floor) i will tell her "THAT was naughty" but not "YOU are naughty", and as soon as i've made my point we clear up and make up and go do something fun. We bear no grudges in this house.
I want to raise her with the capacity to be happy and i think this revolves around self-worth. If i can show her what a wonderful, valuable person she is, she will be able to look for that in others, and, with luck, find it.
Hate to break it to you, Hoobley, but you are an Attachment Parent But, no, you don't have to call yourself anything. I use the term only very rarely, if someone asks specifically what orientation I have for parenting (which is next to never).
AP does NOT mean that you are a Laissez Affair parent, where anything goes. In fact, AP kids tend to have more awareness of social mores because they are not separated from their parents and their daily, social interactions
Gentle Parenting is not, by any means 'no parenting'. It is absolutely about respect for yourself and your kids
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But, no, you don't have to call yourself anything. I use the term only very rarely, if someone asks specifically what orientation I have for parenting (which is next to never).
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