When she's having a 'moment' or has completely melted down I ask her if she wants a hug. It often works as she learns to deal with the emotions she's feeling. (Doesn't mean she gets what she wants if I've said no, but at least she feels better).
I 'race' her to do things she doesn't want to do. Need to get in the car seat? Who can get in the quickest? Time for toilet/bath/sit at the table. I'll race you to it!
She needs to pack away her toys herself (Mummy helps if necessary) or they get put away somewhere she can't make a mess with them. I also find that making a game of packing toys away helps (where are all the yellow toys, stuffed toys, cars, dolls, etc, etc).
A washing hamper of her own in her bedroom encourages her to put her dirty clothes in there (she's got a funky elephant one from the cheapy shop).
Bath crayons are a great incentive to have a bath.
I agree with choices too - bath or shower, which plate to eat off, which cup, toast or weet-bix (or both), which dolly or teddy to take in the car with us, which undies/socks/shirt/pants (but don't get me started on dresses and skirts, she'll change her mind a few times and has very definite ideas there!), etc.
I treat her with respect, she's a person with her own needs/desires and she has every right to communicate them to me. I should consider her needs and recognise that for many things she has no say in what happens.
The other thing that really works for me was to read up on emotional development, so that I have an understanding of why she does things or behaves in a certain way. I love the analogy that I wouldn't be cross with her if she was learning to walk and stumbled, so why would I get upset with her when she's still learning how to control her emotions?
Last edited by Jennifer13; April 21st, 2009 at 10:17 AM.
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