I can expand now I don't have a stereo tantrum going with both my children (in which case I held the door shut because my doors don't close properly).

So things are different with living somewhere else, the combined efforts of your family and you feeling like people are watching your every move will cause you to feel far more stressed tham usual. Especially things like hitting and spitting. That does have to be held in check for sure..but it's really not easy is it

If you can outwardly remain calm (even in the face of saliva!), and remove him from the situation (and the audience) it will go far. Right now he needs to know that no matter where you are, mummy will react the same way - by showing him that it's not ok. You are his sanctuary in the weirdness of being somewhere different.

I find in my household that giving a reaction, like raised voices, indignation etc only give rise to the next level of tantrum. If they hit, kick or go nuts - they are walked to their rooms calmly (whilst I scream my frustration in my head). When they are calm, they come out. Hugs or cuddles given and it's all over with.

Time out doesn't always work with all kids. Maybe the chair might work better for you (total exclusion can be hard on some kids) - with my son he needed a far longer time out than usual, because it takes a while to wind him down and any input can make it worse.

I'm not sure if a sorry is totally necesarry, some kids just REFUSE to say it and imho it's not worth semantics and it's a word. A cuddle and a love is just as good (again imho).

It can be hard to remain consistent when you are tired and overwhelmed..but do try your very best. In the face of other people insinuating I should smack my kids I just held my hand up in a 'shuudup' kinda way and continued along the way I felt worked best.

GL xoxoxo