i was going to suggest the same as olive. i am trying to find something for DS that he can use to comfort him & he's loving his maz taggie blanket so now i put that between us when i'm feeding him to sleep. he reaches out & plays with it while he's feeding so i'm hoping that brings a nice calming, sleep association for him. i know you're not feeding to sleep for her day sleeps but if you still are at night time, maybe if you do it for those feeds for a while?

do you use music as well? i started feeding to sleep because DS doesn't seem to have an 'off' button & if we just put him down he either screams or just rolls over & starts crawling around & thinks it's playtime. but he's drifted off in DP's arms to music (a piano version of metallica songs of all things ) twice in the last week so we're going to try playing that in his room (when i get him out of our bed!) at sleep times...might be something that helps your DD to relax a bit?

sorry - not a lot of advice from me...i'm trailing along a few months behind you with similar sleep issues!