It is a pesonal choice -as for what to say depends on how you feel. To people who are just going to give me their opinion/ideas rather than have a discussion I usually say - Thanks, that is interesting/a good idea.....insert other positive but non committal response, with no intention of following through. It may seem like giving in but honestly sometimes these people just want you to acknowledge them and their experience. If someone is interested in how things work and has some hints/ideas rather than judgements then I would perhaps flesh things out further - generally though these are people who share the same ideas or who I know will be supportive no matter what.
DD1 is a shocking sleeper - still at 3. We never really coslept. DD2 has coslept pretty much since birth and she has just transitioned to a cot recently - as it would appear we were keeping her awake, lol. She is a fabulous sleeper and a really settled baby - but that could just be her personality!
All bubs are different - all families have different needs and ideas. You should do what suits you both best - honestly I wish I had ignored all the 'helpful' comments with DD1 and trusted my instincts. You are doing a great job!!!
I'd love to see their evidence for co-sleeping leading to a baby/child not knowing how to put themselves to sleep. By that analogy, should we not put them in nappies, in case they never learn to use the toilet? Or how about breast or bottle feeding them - how will they ever learn to feed themselves??!
Load of rubbish, spouting a line that most likely validates their reasons for not choosing co-sleeping.
Like all developmental things, babies make the transition from being babies, who need constant care, attention, feeding and cuddling, to being children who won't even wave goodbye when you drop them at preschool in so little time!
Co-sleeping will not impact whether or not your child will learn to sleep on their own, although it might affect when they do so and their emotional response as a result.
(I should add that I write this as a mother who has never fully co-slept with her baby!)
Last edited by Jennifer13; September 24th, 2009 at 01:52 PM.
If people ask us when we will be moving DS out of our room, we simply say, hopefully before he is 15. Then just change the subject. It rarely comes back up in conversation.
Does anyone really need to know in the first place? If it comes up I wouldn't say anything simply because it's none of their business - just as the way their child sleeps isn't really any of your business either kwim? It's not something you should 'hide' by not saying anything, but I would just shrug it off - you have to do whatever it is that gives both of you the max amount of sleep you can get - for some that will be co-sleeping and for others it will be cot sleeping because not all babies will do what you want them to do because they don't read parenting books
We actually have our youngest back in our room in his cot because he sleeps better in our room than he did in with his brother and I don't know when we will move him back. He wont have a bar of cosleeping anymore so I don't push the issue because there is no point.
Im living with my parents atm so i feel like everything i do gets questioned, but i know im doing the best i can. for me co sleeping has given me abit more sleep during the night as dd feels more secure and safe with me next to her and so up untill now it has felt like the right thing for me to do. i kno my mum means well but it is knocking my confidence.
so true though DD wont be sleeping with me forever one day she will grow up and be independent of me but for now im just making the most of her cuddles wen we do co sleep thanks everyone for your replies even though i prob didnt make much sense lol
Last edited by Butterfly Child; September 24th, 2009 at 02:23 PM.
People are so affraid of fully embracing their children, in fear of them being to 'relient' (SP)
Annabelle co slept for ages! And still sometimes does, but boy does she let me know when she wants to sleep on her own.
I have got to a point with people where I turn around and say "im not afraid of nurturing and loving my child."
I know I have got nasty but I dont believe for a second co sleeping can be anything but good for your bond.
I mean really is she going to be sleeping with you whens she's 20??? No she's going to have her own life, enjoy her while you can
As long as you teach at the same time, inderpendance etc
We co-slept and copped the negative comments too, especially off family members. DS has slept perfectly even when he was put into his own bed. So much for people telling us he would be in with us until he ws 21.
There is nothing nicer than sleeping with your baby, especially when it allows you to get more sleep! DH and I are quite sad sometimes that DS is a big boy and would prefer to sleep by himself. We talk alot about when he slept with us, and some nights DH will say "Let's just go get him and put him in our bed. I want a cuddle".
Or he will just go in and watch him sleep. It is such a special time - don't let other peoples opinions make you doubt yourself!
I so agree with Kass ... we by choice because we wanted to rather then feeling like we had to co-slept with our DD until she was 2.5 ... DP & i both loved it as the bonding feeling was magical and we were open to people knowing about.
In the early days as a newborn she slept in her bassinette at night next to my side of the bed, we didn't have her in our bed then as we had a fear of rolling on her but later on when she was older she slept better in our bed ... and everyone was HAPPY !!
I found at times (and i'm a night owl mind you) hoping into my bed earlier than usual just to feel DD's warm little sweet body (and a little gentle cuddle whilst she slept) & just to hear her breath happily away sleeping ... felt so lovely, and i know i cherished those times as i knew it wouldn't last forever.
During the daytime she slept in her basinette as a baby and in her cot as a toddler.
DD's transition to her single bed was surprisingly not hard ... for the first 2mths she would wake at about 1 or 2am crying and end up in our bed but that was a small price to pay for the wonderful 2.5years she spent co-sleeping with us.
(Mind you about once a week or fortnight now that she is 3 i like to hop into her bed when she has a arvo nap, especially after her one day at Kinder on a Monday & have a cuddle with her ... or allow myself to have a lil nap with her once in a blue moon just to have that feeling of waking up with her.)
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