Sounds to me like you are doing a great job. I have had lots of moments with both my boys where I've had to put them down somewhere safe and go outside for 5 mins to calm down and regroup.

Its really hard when you've done everything you can think of and they still scream/cry
You obviously put alot of thought into how you parent your boys, which in my opinion is showing you are a great mum!!

I read somewhere the other day, "there is no way to be a perfect mum, but a million ways to be a good mum".