Staying over with friends who are doing CIO is pretty obvious what is going on... that would distress me! I deliberately don't spend time with certain people at certain time of the day so as to not be exposed to that.

We had one mum in my mother's group who was big on CIO and she let her son scream it out in his pram once. She stood rocking the pram back and forth but he was facing the wall away from her and clearly was being given no comfort at all. It was awful I just have to remind myself that these children are well cared most of the day, are growing up generally well adjusted, that this happens to many, many children and the damage it is doing to their emotional development and relationships will be a price they will have to pay later. I can't become emotionally invested in their lives to that deep a level, so I have to let it go.

If I saw a child being outright abused I would hope I would say something. Abuse towards children is often treated as 'parenting' and ignored and that is pretty distressing. That should never have happened to you darkdreamer