Update to being induced because of GD

[joel's girl]

Had my 2nd session of acupuncture today so fingers crossed things get moving, even more so then ever cos at my OB appointment today she take my BP, measured my fundla height then promptly got on the telephone and booked an induction date for me - the 5th of September (next wednesday). I was in shocked - it took all my control not to burst into tears.

I think Joel sensed my feeling and asked, "so what does that mean, what will happen then" and she gave us a one page info sheet outlining the procedure with pretty pictures !! The only questions I was capable fo asking were, 'will you give me some time after you break my waters to see if things progress' and se replied, 'no we do that then get you straight on the drip cos it's your 1st baby and things never happen that quickly with your 1st' again I required all my composure to not cry...........I think the OB sensed my silence and tried to reassure me, "Don't worry you have a baby by lunchtime on the 5th" OMG - I don't need to be at the ****ing hospital til 6am so she isn't going to muck around.

As soon as I got out of her office I burst into tears and cried all the way home. Joel read thru the info sheet but has decided to keep his distance from me ATM. Yes I'm upset but hey I could do with a hug and some support. I know it's obvious that I''m angry but not at him............

So many thoughts are running through my mind. It's obvious that this OB is not interested in my opinion / feelings and needs therefore do I (a) write her a letter and fax it to her office outlining all my concerns and that way I at least get them heard as in person she is soooooo rushed it's impossible. I was prepared today but when she booked the induction without speaking to me first I was caught off guard IYKWIM..... and see what response IF ANY I get.

(b) incl in the letter that I'm not willing to consent to the induction and will be seeking a 2nd opinion prior to our next appt - the day before the induction....

(c) thank her for her "record-keeping" but say I've decided to wait til my baby is ready and that I plan to attend the public emergency section at that time and go thru the public system

(d) give in and not make a big deal of this...........

I know you ladies won't mind me venting here.........and that's one of the reasons I love BB. Thanks in advance for listening and your support. Your opinions even if different from mine are welcomed. perahps I am making too much out of this ???

Cindy

[Trillian]

Cindy that is wrong wrong wrong!!!! You aren't making too much of this at all.

She just can't tell you how you are going to give birth and how long it will take. My money is on you not having a very long labour to start with - he is there ready to go so why make it harder than it has to be. Plus you know what the possible ramifications are too and I know you don't want that.

If you send her a letter, chances are she is going to be either far too busy to read it or she will read it and ignore it. I would just refuse point blank hun, her comment of having the baby by lunchtime, I bet really means that if the induction doesnt' work or you are progressing fast enough for her liking she will whisk you off to theatre before you can blink. I'm also betting that the 'info sheet' was somewhat biased in it's information too.

One thing I can suggest is, do you have anyone else that can represent you? Joel may need someone to back him up as often the DH's start to get worried and just want you to do what the Dr wants you too. Someone that is quite strong willed or who you know will be able to be your 'voice' without caving in?

You have a bit of thinking to do between now and then hun, but I know that whatever you decide to do will be the best for you and bubs. Keep us posted on this OK?

[Ginger]

i really don't know what to say cindy, or have any advice to give you...i just know it's a s*** feeling to feel like you're not being listened to. my ob has told me that i will be induced 10 days after due date, so i'm really hoping things don't get that far along. just know i'm thinking of you, keep us all updated of course. i'd love to know if the acupuncture does anything...
ps. joel sounds exactly like my dp- leaves me alone when i want to be comforted, because he reckons when he's upset he just likes to be left alone, so he thinks he's doing me a favour...when all i want is a big hug!! well, *hugs* to you

[Trish]

Cindy, first of all hun, huge hugs for you I am reading the same as Sherie, that by what your (N)OB is saying that if your not progressing as fast as she wishes you will be in theatre. Of course you have every right to refuse hun. This is your body and your baby. Your fundal height can be out for a number of reasons, including bubs position.

Is there perhaps a way that you can just call back your OB, have a conversation over the phone with her, that way you won't feel like a little child with her looking down or condecending you. Have a list of the things you want to discuss and hit her with them all, take little notes during the conv because your bound to forget things. Try and be calm and rational.

Of course there is an easier way around the induction date and that is to simply not turn up hun !! Yes, you can do that. There are women who do such a thing.

Joel sounds like most males actually, my DP is the same, thinks he should just give me space, which is fine when I have steam coming out of my ears, but when I'm clearly upset, give me a damn cuddle.

Keep up with the accupunture and anything else you are doing, but basically at the end of the day none of it will work unless your bubba is ready.

Please let us know what you decide to do. We will all support you no matter what hun

[BellyBelly]

Cindy huge hugs hon... this is your birth that will have lifelong repercussions for you, but not your Ob, so you have every right to state the service YOU want.

Reminds me of a couple I supported in a birth centre who found out that she had GD. One doctor said he would induce 38 weeks and one 39 - so she better go into labour before then (funny isnt it, they all have their own limits). She was a researcher by trade and pushed with her heart to not be induced. She actually went into labour a couple of days after her due date after lots of stress but the birth was so quick, her waters had broken as she arrived at the desk and she was pushing when I got there. She just stayed home as long as she could... she had a 7lb something baby.

Even if you do get a second opinion, be careful who it's with, you may just be going from one to the other... but nothing is law in hospital, they can't take your temp without your permission and they sure as heck can't induce you without your permission.

[joel's girl]

Thanks ladies. I know Joel will come round he's just 'protecting' himself ATM. You know how scary us preg women can be - LOL..... He's normally very supportive but does tend to trust doctors and take all they say as gospel.

Kelly - Thanks for the advice I truly appreciate it. So where can I locate an advocate or doula ASAP. I would prefer to do even if it means moving to the nearby public hospital or giving birth at home.

Thanks for all the support - I've got some thinking and researching to do. I recall seeing a Bronwyn (don't recall her surname) from the central coast being a doula - anyone know who I mean ???

[Trillian]

Cindy, there is a Doula locator here https://www.bellybelly.com.au/find-a-doula n the main site, but Kelly would probably know of some others.

[joel's girl]

Thanks Sherie - Bronwyn Hamilton, that's the one I read about ages ago....... I will give her a call tomorrow as well as calling a few alternative OB's to see if I can get a 2nd opinion from them. I think I will gather this info first then call to get an extra appt with my current OB to see if she is willing to see things from my perspective. At least if she doesn't I can tell her than and there that I will not consent to the induction and will be supported by others to achieve the birth I want for myself and my baby - that's hoping that either Bronwyn and /or an alternative OB are available.

Kelly you make a great point about the birth having a lasting effect on me. I know I would be devastated and feel a failure if I didn't try with everything in my power to avoid this induction. Not a great way to start motherhood !!!!

[Trillian]

Good for you Cindy. I hope that Bronwyn is available for you and that you can get your OB to listen to reason. Keep us up to date though.

[tiffanny]

Just a thought but if you have GD then shouldnt you also be having a management team of physicians looking after you too??!! If not maybe try and get to see one at the hospital.

I was in hospital for 3 weeks before I had my DD and I was ready to kick every Ob that walked in my cubicle. One would say no we want the bub to stay during the week and come weekend another was telling me that I was going downhill and bub was in danger. Monday morning a new on would come in and not know anything at all. As much s I wanted it to all end and for them to deliver my bub I knew they were doing the right thing by her and pushing my body as far as it would carry her.

It all comes down to the safety of your baby. I was induced for my DD, she was my 2nd SVD and 2nd induction. My first was 8 hours and my 2nd was 10 hours. My pregnancies and labours have taught me that nothing ever goes to plan and after the initial disappointment of not having the birth and outcomes that I wanted is nothing compareed to the beautiful angel son and DD that I am blessed with.

[paradise lost]

Joelsgirl to you!

What an arse your Ob is!

If i were you (and this is only IMO, based on how i felt at the end of PG - tired, emotionally unstable, and NOT able to fight, and also on the verge of tears and unable to even voice protests when induction was mentioned, but still blind determined inside that i wouldn't be induced) i would get out of the induction thusly:

The day before the appointment, just before the end of office hours, call your Ob and ask to speak to her urgently. When you get her (remember, she's just about to go home for the day) tell her calmly but not unemotionally that someone close to you has died and you will not be attending the appointment the next day. If she wants to know when you WILL come, tell her vaguely "there are arrangements to be made" and refuse to be drawn on it. If she is rude put the phone down - the recently bereaved are excused all kinds of behaviour. Then don't answer your phone for a few days, see how you feel inside, bubs could come anytime anyway. When YOU feel like it, give her a call and say things are still very difficult but bubs is moving plenty and it's more convenient for you to not have a newborn right this second. If you want to have bubs checked by them to ensure everything is fine then go in for an appointment but wear black and if they threaten to keep you for induction tell them you're on your way to a funeral.

Yes, it's deceit, yes it's lying, but it will get you out of your induction without having to clash with anyone.

Bx

[MantaRay]

JG, good on you for pursuing your goal. I was going to say something similar to Kelly - that you don't want to regret your choices later. It's amazing the impact giving birth has on us emotionally and I would hate for you to go with the flow now and then feel regret later. It might be that your birth does not go to plan, but if you have done everything you can to get the best outcome then at least you have nothing to regret, as you tried everything. I wish you every bit of luck and success - go and have a great birth!!

[Trish]

Well said Bec, I love your suggestion hun.


See Cindy, there are plenty of ways around it

[joel's girl]

Gee laughing was the last thing I thought I'd be doing tonight but Hoobleys posts certainly did the trick - thanks for that

Tiffany - I am seeing a diabetic specialist who reports back to my private OB, all he seems to do is monitor me and adjusts my treatment if necessary. He certainly has had no part of the 'induction' decision. Weird hey. It's on my list to call him too and ask in his opinion whether induction is necessary.

Big thanks to all - I really needed the support tonight

Spoke with Joel and managed to get him to read Kellys article on induction and he agreed that we deserve more answers from the OB and that we should call her tomorrow as well as the GD specialist t get those answers. BUT he feels that she will have valid reasons for suggesting the induction and believes that she has our best interest at heart Bloody men just don't get it sometimes.

I'll keep you all posted...........

[joel's girl]

Today's progress:

(a) spoke with GD specialist who confirmed that my GD is well and truly under control and in his opinion there is NO reason for an early induction due to GD. This is wonderful and just what I was hoping to be able to tell OB.

(b) spoke with Bronwyn Hamilton who gave me some wonderful advice but will not be able to help me for the actual birth.

(c) updated my birth plan and list of OB questions, made arrangements to speak with her tomorrow...........

Fingers Crossed I get a resolution tomorrow !!!

[Trish]

That's great new's that you seem to be getting some good answers hun.

What a shame that Bronwyn can't support you though. Where abouts in NSW are you ?

[joel's girl]

Im in Newcastle. Bronwyn did give me two other numbers for doulas who work in my area. Thought I'd contact them after I know where I stand with my OB tomorrow.

Yeah things are looking up.

ETA : I just saw that your a trainee doula trish - don't happen to live in Newie by any chance ?

[Trish]

Damn, nah I wish hun. I was hoping you were down here. I'm in Sydney.

I do have an IM that lives in Port Maquarie though, still a few hours out for you isn't it.