My sister did the most beautiful thing for us this year - they are really struggling at the moment with money, so she got some gift boxes, and put in a couple of things she'd grown in the garden, some home made bikkies her kids had baked, a notebook that her kids had covered with pretty coloured paper, and a nice calendar. They were a real labour of love and so thoughtful, and I appreciated them so much. It really *is* the thought that counts! If other people can't appreciate that, that is their problem.

My brother and sister in law always give us a card that tells about their donation to Oxfam, which makes me feel really happy, too.

Too late for this y ear, but next year perhaps you could pre-empt it all by saying well before gift giving season, "This year we aren't purchasing gifts - we can't stop you doing it but please don't be offended if you receive something home made or alternative."