We don't have big family Christmases as my family is in the UK, DP's mum died a few years ago and his dad is in a nursing home.

I agree that Xmas is about the kids and DP and I normally just buy each other one thing each, or possibly a few books but nothing over the top.

If it's your DH and MIL who are most upset about just having one present each, why can't they buy each other a few gifts plus buy/receive a Secret Santa?