chocolatecatty - as far as birth preparation goes, I think, as Kelly said, it's all important (physical and mental/emotional). Ideally, you want to have thought about the birth process in detail, have imagined how it will go beforehand, and how you will choose to work with the pain. To physically prepare oneself sort of goes hand-in-hand....yoga and long walks help one prepare physically and mentally, and keep you happy, which is so important. When I was in labour with my second baby, I'd read, well, everything - stearing clear of the general 'your whole nine months answered' type pregnancy/birth books, because i don't think they're of much help at all. My sister is pregnant at the moment (about 8 weeks) and I've lent her a few books (without wanting to over-load her all at once!). I did loan her "what to expect" but explained to her that it is only good for the little niggles you may get, as a nice quick answer to the everyday little things, but that it has no substance and is no good for true birth preparation. I've lent her "Spiritual Midwifery' by Ina May Gaskin, as this has lots of wonderful birth stories, as well as information of ways a good midwife will handle situations during your labour, and these two things can really help to inform and empower an individual. While some of the birth stories include some pretty far-out language and hippy ideaology, I've told her to take the goodness of the book and just not be too freaked out by the 60's-ness of it. lol. I'm an anachronistic soul, so I just love it all! It's an amazing book, and Ina May is my hero! The other book I've lent her was one on the pelvis and the positioning of the baby, so that she has a clear knowledge of her body and the way it works with the baby, and how it's all quite natural and fine. That way she will have faith in her body during the birthing process and not fear the idea of birth.
sal - I love birth plans (and it's an important part of the role of the doula to help get one together). The great and very important thing about a birth plan is that it give you power. Medical staff are not allowed to go against your wishes, so are less likely to try to take advantage of you if you've shown that you've done your research, know everything about the different interventions, and have an opinion on the way you want to be treated. I think birth plans that simply say "I don't want a caesarian" for instance, are not a good help to you or the people at your birth. What leads to a c-section? Most often, otehr intervention comes first. Perhaps looking inot the use of fetal monitoring and it's pros and cons, and maybe deciding that you don't want a bar of it, for instance, that'd drop your chance of ending up with a caesarian. So, I think birth plans need to cover everything, and also cover your choices should it be necessary to deviate from your birth plan - i.e "should I need an emergency caesarian, I want a spinal, not a general...I want to hold/breastfeed my baby immediatly", etc. This way, no matter what heppens in the end, you feel that you have had an empowered birth experience. Really, my belief is that a birth plan should cover anything you can think of that matters to you (and if you've read a lot of good birth books, you'll end up with a lot of opinions!). Down to "should the baby need to be transferred to intensive care while I am in recovery, my husband will occompany him/her". Different hospitals and different staff have different ways of handeling situations, and some love their power trip, so be specific and clear in your determination, and your more likely to get what you want. I had an in-depth birth plan (and dot-point is good) for my daughter and forgot to even hand it to anyone! But it was still good that I'd made it, as I had empowered myself with information and had the birth I wanted anyway. But when your in labour, it isn't only difficult to communicate, it really should be avaoided when possible....you should have the freedom to just "go-within", so a birth plan allows for everyone to do as you wish, without you having to order them around when you have better things to do!
Birth plans, written with regard to alternative scenarios, are a valuable resource, not only to the birthing mother, but to the midwives. My birth plan was in dot point but I had dot points that covered the event of me being transferred to the maternity ward from the birth centre, should any intervention have been required.
I had written that I wanted to labour at home and I nearly forgot this when I was labouring. Thankfully, the midwives had read over the plan and persuaded me to stick to my plan ("for your own sake") and they got me back on track when I said I might want to come in sooner in the labour. This would be the wavering confidence that Kelly was talking about in the stats!
It was only after the birth that DP and the midwife went over just how much of the birth went to plan. It was after the birth of my boy that we departed from the plan, but by then I didn't care. The main parts of the plan that went to plan were labouring fully at home, not wanting any internal checks done, dim lights, essential oils in the burner, relaxing music and, my favourite part, having a waterbirth. My midwife apologised profusely about the active expulsion of the placenta, as she finished her shift, but I assured her that as I had got my waterbirth, a bit of post-partum haemmorhage was quite incidental.
I had people scoff at my having a birth plan ready and I really resented this. They thought that because I was a first timer I was out of touch with reality. In fact, I was aware of what COULD happen, but I operated on the basis that my normal pregnancy was going to end with a normal birth (what others call a 'natural' birth, or, as some put it, 'alternative'!).
I did go and seek out-of-hospital birth education in HypnoBirthing classes. My facilitator was great in that she also used other hypnotherapy methods she has in her 'toolbox', with my partner and I. It was well worth the expense. I thought, during some of my labour, that the HypnoBirthing may have been a waste of time because I didn't realise I was even using it! By the time I presented to the birth centre I was ready to start 'pushing' and I thought it might be too soon (watched too many movies as a child!), but the midwife team must have realised, from my birth plan and my interactions with them, that I was more in tune with my birthing body than I was consciously giving myself credit for and told me to go for it! I then went into my 'zone' and had a painless birth - not sensation-free, by any means, but I couldn't honestly call it 'pain'.
I felt so strongly about being allowed to have a natural birth that I unconsciously gave permission to my body to do just that and it didn't listen to me when I tried to pike at the last minute!
I had read in magazines about mothers who had made a list of what they would do 'next time' in terms of assertiveness, and decided that I didn't want to leave these things to the benefit of hindsight and that I would learn from these women's experiences. I know a lot of people thought I was ****y and probably think now that I 'fluked' it with Oscar. I didn't - I made that happen, in a society where we are told to trust the medicos.
To have a fulfilling birth experience, unfortunately, women need to know that good education exists, but must be sought. I stumbled across Belly Belly and this site really helped steer me in the right direction for what I wanted, even though I had a fair idea of the kind of birth I wanted (above all, a waterbirth!). What about the millions of women who don't stumble across this kind of empowering information, or who are not as naturally determined as I am to do the hard yards for a rewarding outcome?
I admit to considering drugs and intervention...but only in the car on the way to the birth centre! In the end I was there for less than 45 minutes before Oscar was born...just as planned.
To say that birth plans are a waste of time is to have a misconstrued idea of what a birth plan is and should be. It is a PLAN, not a blueprint.
Anyway, I DO feel ****y when people ask how my birth went and I have to reply "Great! It was very zen, just like I said it would be".
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