chocolatecatty - all forms of preparation are important, physical as well as mental. Some people might read 'what to expect when you are expecting' and think that is informed or empowered. But there is much better out there and I think if you really want a natural birth you need to research which books are the right ones to read and not just rely on internet stuff too. Alot of preg/baby sites out there are not so good.
If you are motivated for a natural birth you might also seek out private birth education classes, as you will find out all the stuff that the hospital wont tell you or omits - like working with pain, facts and statistics, your rights - you can even decline monitoring - so much is optional but many women think they have to comply and not complain or ask questions - it's the way it's become.
I really try hard to include resources on this site which are empowering, are evidence based and often have studies backed with it. That's why you will read any one of the books in our recommended reading list and be shocked at the facts compared to some other books.
It is all open to interpretation too - I think with my second birth, I would have been happy to have an epidural before the birth, considering my bad experience the first time. I started saying i wanted one just before I got into hospital. But I got there and couldn't have one as it was almost push time. And straight after that birth, I felt blessed to have had some women there telling me I couldn't have one and I needed to do this and I could do this. The euphoric high you get from having a natural birth is amazing, it's like those people climing Everest would feel - birth is a rite of passage. So if we aren't used to being supported, held, pushed and coached beyond what we think we are capable of, then it makes it all so hard. We all deserve to have that euphoria if we want it! We just have to learn how to go get it!
Athletes know this all to well, my teacher interviewed a marathon swimmer, I think Suzie Maroney (?) and spoke to her about a huge swim she did. She was exhausted. She was getting stung by sea lice. She wanted to give up and her support team didn't know what to do. They radioed to fly in her mentor, Dawn Fraser. She told everyone else to **** off to give them some peace, and said things like, 'You know you want this. You have trained for months for this. You can do this so you get out there and don't you stop' etc etc - you get the gist - and she finished the swim.
With the right encouragement and motivation and support so much is possible, but often we don't have that and have the romantic ideal that a midwife or husband will be able to provide all that for us and we'll have what we want.
So, I think that if you have romantic ideals it makes it harder, if you want to leave it to fate it does too. If you have a birth plan you can stick to it more than you think, but it depends on more than a simple plan - if the only preparation you are going to have is making a birth plan, then it's like having third party property insurance on a home. Yes that's supporting the 'foundation'. But what about contents insurance? It leaves an important, valuable part to something so crucial, vulnerable. It's not much preparation in the big scheme of things, it's only saying this is what I want. So what are you going to do to make sure you get that? Would you go to a milk bar and ask for milk but not take money? Take a look at the other thread where I posted the stats for homebirth and you will see how little intervention we are capable of and how much hospitals have on offer. There is a bigger problem here, it's not just what we are capable of - it's what the system sets us up to be capable of. Like I said, hospitals aren't designed to have the perfect environment to unleash your birthing potential. It is an institution designed to be able to manage and control your birth - they are both very different things. So you have to think smart and work hard if you really do want a natural birth and have a serious think about your attitudes to pain.
I'm going to share as best I can a table my teacher devised. She works with ALOT of midwives and they all attend her 'working with pain' birth courses, she is very well regarded. When she devised this table and showed them, they were all amazed and say how EXACT and accurate this table is. The first time I showed Cailin, she was horrified I think LOL, but it's amazing, and I wonder if it helps anyone identify anything. Remembering that there is probably around 1-5% of women having 'normal' physiological birth and the rest is intervention of some kind. My notes were pretty bad, but I hope you can get the idea. You don't have to like it. But this is something the industry is saying so worth thinking about anyway.
She has made up five categories, to which she sees women belonging into one of these groups going into birth. Then, she predicts what will happen in the births of women in each of those groups. If she has supported over 1,000 births and been doing this for over 26 years, and midwives are saying this is so accurate, then it makes it all very interestingOf course, there are some minor deviations, especially when it comes to the midwifery care - you might be lucky to get someone coming onto shift who has come from a 'working with pain' model of care and gets you through a tough spot - someone might fluke it by getting great care from these people or on the other hand, be unlucky that a she gets a carer who's about to go home and can't help her through or working with the obstetric pain management model hat on - so there is that aspect of chance. And as she says, 'how much do you want to leave it up to chance?' How much do you really want this birth? Because the WHO is saying that the massive percent that have intervention now should be the massive percent having normal birth. So when you say, some women do need it - the WHO states with all things accounted for, it should be no more than 10-15%. But it's completely backwards. Why do we convince ourselves that so much intervention is warranted? Because we are not informed or empowered to our potential.
1. Pain Avoiding (approx 10-15%)
Strongly motivated to have no pain in labour. Opt for caesareans or epidurals as they want to feel nothing during the birth. The thought of labour being a painful event is not in the question and my teacher has even counselled women in this category when their labour was unexpected or fast and they have huge issues over having had a birth and felt pain - they feel ripped off that they didnt get the experience they want. But completely motivated to have no sensations of labour.
2. Status Quo (65%)
Doctors are trained, they will look after me and have my best interests at heart. If I need all that intervention then it must be they way it has to be. Satisfied that everything will be taken care of and I will need to do nothing - whatever is the status quo.
3. Wait and See (5-10%)
Don't know what I want. I will just wait until birth and decide what I want then.
4. Aspirationally Nieve (5-10%)
They have thoughts like, 'Women have been birthing since the begining of time! I am healthy, fit, well and a fine specimen of one of those!' If she hits a crisis in labour, it's the labour's fault - it was something that shouldn't have been for her not to cope. These women are not aware of the vulnerabilities they will face in labour, will often invite people into the support arena who they can 'perform' for - i.e. sister who had two caesars and wants to show her how strong she is and she can do it, or a partner who thinks she can't etc. Of course, the support people are inadequately prepared and think something is seriously wrong when all along they have been told, this is easy, I can do it, I wont need help. Often blames partner or support afterwards.
5. Highly Motivated for Normal birth (10-15%)
She has a good support team around her and is prepared that she will have at least one, perhaps several crisises of confidence. She is well prepared and knows what to expect and has thought about how she will cope with things. She comes out okay even if the birth was not as hoped because she knew she had good support. She realises that there will be medical need if required and comes out with a high birth satisfaction.
If you want to know the outcomes for these births, let me know
ps. for the birth plan thing, really we should be saying one of two things. 1. I really want a natural birth and want to be pushed, or 2. I would ideally like a natural birth, but am open to an epidural if I need. We need to be more specific and stop using internet based plans with click n tick options which aren't flexible! I think the confusion comes in when the foundations are rigid, 'dont want this and that' type stuff, but aren't very well prepared for what will come and how you will deal with it, so the birth plan doesnt match and the midwife confused.
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