Discussions with DHs re homebirth

[sunshine_sieben]

So, what does the little note in your siggie mean? 5w 1d?
By the way, if your DH is squeamish, I can only recommend a water birth. Not only did it do WONDERS for me in regards to pain management, but it also has the added bonus that the baby comes out clean - lol.
And Tobily is right. A homebirth will tend to have less emphasis on the "gore factor". Less light. And probably have a much more "serene" feel to it.

All the best!

Saša

[lilmisshavachat]

Just a quick explanation to sunshine_sieben the 5w 1d is how old ruth08's embryo was when it miscarried and took flight to the heavens..

Hi Ruth..
It's Dee from last Saturdays breakfast.. I had no idea you were interested in a homebirth (you're probably lucky) cause I've decided that is what I want as well and would have talked your ear off... So Ruth to the discussion at hand, I think it's awsome that you are considering your options already... I told my DH that I want a homebirth and he was kinda "ok dear.. whatever you want" but only because he knows how much reading and research i've done.. I have watched the BOBB quite a few times but he isn't interested and I have told him that if he wants to argue with me about any safety issues or other concerns he has he should probably research his side of the argument first before getting into that debate and we both know that if he researches he will find out that homebirth is as safe if not safer that hospital birth.. He won't research it though cause i'm a lucky little chicken (in some instances) that DH leaves these things up to me..

It is very difficult having a conversation with someone who feels that the hospital system saved their's or their own child's life about it being safer to birth at home as they don't wish to know that it was probably the Dr's intervention that caused the problem in the first place...I know people like that...and I have plenty of people I know that think i'm mad and that is fine..

Something that might help with DH's squeamishness is maybe looking into a Doula or student doula who can support DH while you midwife supports you.. Good luck with conceiving and I hope we can catch up for another breakfast soon.. Take care sweetie...
Dee

[BekZ]

I mentioned homebirth to my DH just yesterday and he said absolutely no straight away..

[paradise lost]

Bekz, how were your DD's births? Is he reacting to fears based on what happened then, or is it just lack of knowledge making him think it's dangerous?

I think phrasing makes a big difference. "Could we have a homebirth?" is a lot more open to rejection than "I think i'd like to have the baby at home this time". It's not his birth, it's yours.

Bx

[BekZ]

Hoobley - DD1 10 hour labour, pushed for 2 hours, drug free, tore from anus to vagina DD2 3hour labour, had waters broken (very painful and lost "control" of my birthing experience) DD born 15mins after, drug free again, tore internally. I then had a retained placenta and had to get it removed.

DH was in the thick of it for both labours and he doesn't mind blood etc.

I think both of us are uneducated about homebirth and his main concern is me having another retained placenta and needing medical attention. I am curious about hb because I really got no rest at the hospital and not a lot of assistance during my birth, I was just told to get into this position and that position etc. DD2 came so fast that the middy yelled at me to get on the bed or she'd be dropped on the floor!!!

[lilmisshavachat]

Hi BecZ..
I have just finished reading "The thinking womans guide to a better birth" and it was full of facts that support reasons for the safety and comfort of an intervention free birth and what that really said to me was having a birth that an OB or hospital trained midwife didn't control.. A La natural... I would thoroughly recommend it for yourself as fascinating reading but also if you can get DH to read it and show him your not a "tree hugging hippy freak" no offence to people who believe in things like that.... I think this is the category HB advocates are thrown into... Good luck with your choices BecZ... Education is the future of our children... Imagine if you gave birth to a daughter and what you taught and gave her as a home birthing mother was for her to know that birth is natural and not to be feared.. We could have a new generation of children who carry on the perfectness that nature created..

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Ruth, I had a DH against homebirth.

Next time (if there is one) the discussion goes like this:

"I'm giving birth at home. OK then, I won't tell you when I'm in labour, in fact I will let you go into work that day and just call you when the baby is here. Your choice - at home with me, or me at home without you."

That's the level of input he will have.
If you want to know why, read any of my birth stories (and especially the de-briefings) on this site.

[Sara-May]

Imagine if you gave birth to a daughter and what you taught and gave her as a home birthing mother was for her to know that birth is natural and not to be feared.. We could have a new generation of children who carry on the perfectness that nature created..

Hi everyone,

I am new to posting on here, but I just saw this comment, and guess what, this is me! I was a hospital birth, but my 2 siblings were born at home. I was seven when my brother was born and fourteen when my sister was born. I witnessed both births and was lucky enough to cut the cord for my sister.
I am 20 weeks pregnant now, and only wish that we were in the financial position to have a HB. I think it is absolutely disgusting that I have to pay for a HB, but can have a hossy birth for free! But I am booked into a lovely hossy with a reputation for being non-interventionist. They have the facilities for water birth which I am very excited about.
I guess what I am trying to say is that seeing my mother give birth twice made me feel no fear, either at the time or now. I look forward to my impending birth as a rite of passage, and a deeply spiritual experience....
Now we just need to make sure we save up before my next pregnancy so I can have the HB I really want!