Homebirth General Discussion #10

thanks for the congratulations guys and words of support. I was so shocked by that place that it didnt fully hit me until that night how awful that place was. there was so much more that was wrong with it, words cannot describe. I was up alot overnight with all the nervous energy needing to be dispelled!

We are so incredibly stoked seeing our new bundle, she is looking great and smack on for dates, I do find myself fortunate that we seriously do not have to deal with gender disappointment; i can only imagine how hard that would be. The tool's (thanks Meow for the verb/noun lol) comments have now just made me furious, we live in a world where the lives of girl babies are systematically not valued as highly as that of boy babies in many cultures and to have someone say that is just plain wrong. i guess the fact that i am working in human trafficking prevention stuff it hits closer to home in that i can place faces and names to girls' whose lives were not valued.

Cricket: sheesh! what a comment!

Ambersky: argh, no fun being sick! and how weird are those kicks on the cervix :o DD2 always tickled my ribs and it was the most weirdest feeling hahaha.

Sara: oh i heard about that system. so messed up.
BUT congrats on making the booking. i was booked into two birth centres with DD2 and pulled out once my plans with the HB were finalised and set in motion.

Congrats on your little girl, C :) I have suffered severe sex (not using the word gender in relation to this anymore) dissapoinment, and it isn't nice, and it is made so much worse by idiots who say insensitive crap like your sonographer did.

I am sure I had more to say but have placenta dementia! Will be back if/when I remember.

I have felt gender disappointment too. Can I just say, it's not about not valuing boys and being disappointed in their gender, but rather that I've felt disappointed at not experiencing girls. It's more about gender yearning, than disappointment.

I always knew I would have two boys. I knew both boys were boys while I was pregnant and when I picture my 3rd possible child, I know he's a boy too. So I'm kind of resolved now :lol: I love them to bits, it's not about them. It's about something else I'll never have. I'm so glad for you Cassius that you don't feel those yearnings and sense of loss because it's hard sometimes.

That said, I like siblings all of one sex too. There's something very special about it. There's always a win whichever way the gender dice rolls :D

When I had only girls, I was totally fine with that. When we were told that DS was a boy, that was pretty exciting, but we would have been perfectly happy with a girl too. I sort of hoped that DD5 was a boy, just for DS's sake. I thought it would be nice for him to have a brother close to him. But, we were not disappointed to learn that DD was a girl. Surprised, maybe. I really thought I was having another boy up until that point! Mostly though, I don't want people to be "disappointed for us" if you know what I mean. I want them to say "Another girl - what a blessing! Isn't she lovely." :) Not "Another girl... well... you sure have a lot of girls... too bad it wasn't a boy...." :rolleyes:

Definately felt that most people were sorry for us that dd3 was a girl. Like you cricket I wanted a boy for ds but I wanted a girl for me. If she was/is my last then I always imagined I'd have a girl. It was/is perfect for us. Ds knows no better.....yet lol


Mean while no matter what sex my children are they are not letting me sleep at the moment :) is there a third sex that sleeps maybe, I want one of those ;)

But a 'friend' on Facebook mentioned how hard it was teaching her baby to 'self settle'. Things could never be that bad!!!!

I keep dreaming of the birth.

When I lift the babe up out of me and we look between it's legs. It's always a girl.

The biggest thing is a feeling of disappointment in the dream. Especially coming from my partner who, in the dream, loudly groans at the sight of a girl.

I wonder if its all this talk that's producing these dreams.

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Mean while no matter what sex my children are they are not letting me sleep at the moment :) is there a third sex that sleeps maybe, I want one of those ;)

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ooh, let me know if you find out about them!

I kept dreaming of boys with my daughter. Cant remember with my son, but this time i'm dreaming of girls. I think its more to do with a meaning of having that gender than the actual gender? A good friend was totally convinced she was having a girl, connected with it as a girl, and it was a boy. Maybe think about what it means for you to have either gender? I cant seem to work it out lol :)

Well obviously all that matters is we make it to 40 weeks this time and the babe is healthy.

I'd like a boy as we have the girls but it's not that important too us. Not to mention that the decision has already been made as there's nothing we can do to change that.

I don't mind either way. I think for me, I'm more focused on holding a healthy babe in my arms and being able to pour every ounce of love I have into him or her.

Time will tell :)

I hope you get through this pg with a h&h babe at the end too, Sara, boy or girl. (And a beautiful home birth as well!).

We swayed for a boy, because DP really wanted a boy. Now I get to be with DD1 as she's growing up, I can understand why he'd want a boy. There's things she and I (and DD2 as well, when she's older) get to share that he doesn't 'get'. And because he hasn't seen it from having a boy, he doesn't know what he'd miss out on if he didn't have a girl. ITMS. Part of me wonders what having a son would be like, but I don't really dwell on it, so I can't say I'd be disappointed not to have one.

Frankly, I'd be happy to have half a dozen and chances are eventually I'd get both genders. (Although we do have a friend's sister who had six girls in a row... number seven was a boy - and no, they didn't 'keep trying for a boy'! They just wanted a big family). Since DP doesn't want half a dozen, he's going to have to love what he's got. ;)

And my girls are two of those odd children who sleep, so maybe I shouldn't mess with that!

i have one of each, but haven't really found a difference (related to sex) yet. DH has 4 sisters and i have 3 brothers (and 1 sister) and neither of us are particularly gender specific in thought or action so it will be interesting to see what happens as DD and DS develop.

Well you're all gonna roll you're eyes as me but I've decided not to book into MGP.

Today I've woken up more positive about a healthy pregnancy and after discussion with DP, we've decided to just plan for the HB.

I've just emailed Tricia Stuart again to ask if she is available. Due to our financial position, I've asked her if she can provide reduced antenatal care/birth support only. I finish my Degree this year so I'm pretty confident I can do all my own antenatal care with the occasional visit from her. Plus I have a few Midwife friends who I'm sure could do the occasional antenatal check.

So with that said, a birth at home is back on the cards (at this point). Fingers crossed for a uneventful pregnancy!

Ok so I got a speedy reply from Tricia lastnight.

Good news and bad news.

She's moving to Cunnamulla to work as the Community Midwife but would be willing to fly back for the birth if she's able.

Do you think i'd have to pay for her flights?

Do you think I should suss out other Midwives?

It kinda suits me really due to the financial situation but its gonna make the "with woman" part of the journey a little hard.

Thoughts??

Sara if you want a free doula...... I don't think I'm that far from you :)

I think flights would be something you'd pay for - but ask her if that's what she'd expect.

I had a friend as my doula. She was fantastic. I knew she'd done it before, but it was less her experience and more the support I knew she'd give. My midwives had the experience, I needed someone to just be with me who'd been there before but didn't need to have any medical responsibility. That probably doesn't make any sense.

Aww thanks for the offer Tegam :) I'll let you know if I need one. I'm actually hoping a good friend of mine will have moved down this way by then. She is a Doula I met in Townsville back when I first wanted to starting Doula-ing. She was my mentor is now a close friend. I've always envsioned her at my head for my first HB. Finger crossed shes down here in time.

Yeah I thought I'd maybe be responsible for it Jen. She's on vacation at the moment and is going to call me when she returns.

I know exactly what you mean. You mean someone to be 'with woman'. A Doula. Someone who is there primarily to nurture every labouring atom of you. I want that too :) So you make perfect sense :)

So I guess we'll work it all out when she calls.

Part of me is actually open to an FB. Its just my location that concerns me a bit about that. Plenty of time to work it all out anyways.

Jen makes perfect sense


Good to see you said first Homebirth Sara not only Homebirth ;) your friend sounds perfect! I hope she moves on time. It's about time all the stars aligned for you!


There's a lot of mental hurdles with a free birth. That's why I just couldn't in the end!

Hehe - Yes FIRST homebirth. It'd have to be some serious business to take the option away from me now and in future.

Me too hun. They'll know for sure by August.

Yes I know what you mean. And i think unless you can jump those hurdles, FB should be left behind. There's no place for thinking in birth, esp the kind thats riddled with fear. I'm hoping its a decision I dont need to come too but I'm open to the option if all is perfectly normal with me and babe.



So lets talk birth pools.... Does anyone know of who does birth pool hire in the Brissy/Gold Coast area?

I'm so excited, I met a new Mumma with a 10 mth old bub at church today and she had her baby at home!! First bub too. It's the first time I've bumped into a stranger who homebirthed! Is it strange that we were both so excited to discover this about each other?

I've invited her to play group on Tuesday so we can dissect every detail of our amazing homebirths. I can't wait. Sitting here grinning like an idiot at the thought!

A couple of ppl standing nearby just looked at us as though we were speaking a foreign language as we started to get all excited. DP got it when I came home and told him. Can't wait to go to my HB get together on Thurs and tell them too.

Ahhhh the sisterhood!

I know exactly what you mean Jennifer. :) In our church, there are four other home-birth mums, and I have a few other friends who have done it, and it is great to sit and chat about it. It's surprising how much you find in common with women who have gone that route. I've generally found them to be intelligent, common sense, and down-to-earth kind of people. Several worked in the health care system, and know it's strengths and weaknesses, and that led them to the choice to have their babies at home.

I recently chatted with a woman at an ABA meeting who planned a homebirth, but then had to transfer. We didn't talk about our births that much but more about the continuity of care which was so important to both of us, and a strong reason behind our choice to homebirth.

I love meeting other HB mummas IRL too. I had a few in my old playgroup and it was so lovely to share that with them and really connect.

Just had to get this out with my HBing women, cause you all get it. Took my youngest to the osteo the day and he was going over everything. Asked about the birth and gets to birth weight. 10lbs 6ozs. Oh wow, he says. Really big then. So did it hurt a lot?

Ugh. I just seems really dumb to me. This guy is a father of three and supposed to be pretty crunchy yeah? He's an osteo for pete's sake. Bigger babies don't hurt more?! I was kind of confused at first because labour is labour right? So I said, not any thing more than ordinary. Then I was thinking, well big baby could affect crowning and I did tear when his shoulders came out so I told him about that bit. But on reflection I realise we were just coming at it from totally different points of view and this guy clearly doesn't really understand birth. So don't bother asking questions about it. Humph.

Personally, I find that quite rude.

"Did it hurt a lot?" Ummm whats that got to do with how you treat my Son?

Some people just dont have any boundaries!

Exactly! I think that was my confusion... I trying to work out the relevance. Which is how I came to his positioning in birth, as that could be relevant.

Yeah that is relevent.

His unprofessional question isn't relevent at all.

Did you end up getting any answers?

Do you mean just with the osteo treatment in general? It seemed to go well. My son is 18 months old and a bit bow-legged and is always congested so he worked on those areas. He said he had some twists in his hips, intestines and lymphatic system so hopefully the treatments will help. Back again this week for follow-up.

Cool.

I've had friends who taken their babies to an osteo and brought home completely different babies.

I wonder if it can affect the behaviours of a 6 year old. DD1 has been horrendous lately with her behaviour and I'm looking at all options at the moment. I'm trying to work out whether its a phase or whether there are underlying issues.

Give it a go! Being completely healthy and everything in place can't hurt your moods ;)

My son also has a lot of trouble sleeping, which I know can be normal but he'll often wake up upset or be really sleepy and obviously wanting to be asleep but is jerking his body around and appears to be in pain. Sometimes this crankiness keeps up during the day too. He clearly has gut issues so we're working on that. My older son has autism and all the gut issues that come with that and I'd love to take him to the osteo too but there is no way he would let him touch him for any treatment at this point in time.

I know my chiro was a godsend for my pg for keeping things in place and she told me to bring bub in if I had any fussiness or feeding issues. But her gentle birth through my nicely aligned pelvis must have kept her in good shape. ;)

I love our osteo! i took DD2 there for posterior tongue-tie issues when she was 8 weeks and it saved our BF journey. so so awesome! i will take this little girl in too after she is born, it is so gentle that the babies tend to fall asleep during the session hahahaha.

I had chiro every week leading up my son's birth too. Was lovely.

I forgot to say that Cassius- my little one was all woozy and dazed when he sat up after his treatment! It was tricky getting an 18 month old to lie still and we sang loads of songs to keep him happy but then I think he got into the zone. He was blissed out :lol: He then had the WORST night sleep though... but the osteo warned it can go either way. Healing can be a bit disruptive. We've learnt that from our older son too. I'm all good with healing crises now.

yeah that is what we found too. the first night she was awesome, but after the second treatment we had 72 hours of crazy lol.

we are coming home soon :dance: i am excited mostly because i am beginning to get all nesty and i so cant do that here. this place is very spartan as it was a rental for about 6 years...so odd collection of mis-matched furniture and one tea-towel...christmas themed :lol:

i love though that my IM is only an email or skype away...i really rely on those moments of contact.

I can totally imagine you would want to get home and start nesting. There are bedrooms to rearrange and plans to make... and skirting boards to clean :lol:

How much longer till you head home?

Woohoo Cassius! So exciting to be able to start preparing in earnest.

Is your stuff in storage?

Waaaaah I am dying to have osteo! I have been so sore and achey now for weeks, my middle back is packing it in and lower back has just joined in occasionally too. There isn't an osteopath in this town, have googled and nothing. Will be down in Melbourne soon, I am going to drive myself in, can't wait too much longer, driving me mad. Although driving in the car seems to make my back sore :(

Had my midwife appointment yesterday and found out my iron is down and out again, gah! Thought I was a bit more drained than normal but put it down to being 33 weeks - at the business end. So better get back onto the iron.

Haven't come across any other homebirthing mummas here either but to be expected I guess, would be awesome though. The woman who took my blood was very intrigued though and asked lots of questions so was nice to feel her enthusiasm as she sucked my blood out LOL.

Meow: oh the skirting boards :o imagine how dirty they are!!!!!!!!! 4 more weeks and I am there :dance:

Kelly: it would be good if you could spend the night in melb after the osteo too. I always struggle with low iron. lentils baby!!!

Jennifer: nah, unless you call the girls' bedroom storage lol. luckily we were able to get people to look after our house and animals by moving pretty much straight in. it meant we couldnt rent out the house properly but it has been good peace of mind.

I've got a feeling I'll benefit from
Osteo this pregnancy. Ever since Brileys pregnancy I've suffered with lower back and hip pain. I've had X-rays etc done but they've come back all clear.

Never been to a physio though. So that might be an option also.

I've not met any homebirth mums down here as such but I know of a few from the JB website. I also have quite friends who've birthed at home back in Townsville. One of which will be at this birth :)

I know of some JB meets but it's getting the time to get to them. Plus i usually have to drive ages. There isn't much out where I live :(

Where abouts are you Tegam? I'm share at Chermside but B and the girls are out at Kerry (past Beaudesert) which is where I am most of the time.

Out in the redlands Sara :)

I know a few HB mumma's which is cool :) SIL had both her 2 at home, MIL homebirthed BIL, and few other aquaintances have done it as well. So I has lotsa ladies to talk to!

Had my HB group get together today and a couple of new HB bubbas have joined us. I had a lovely chat with a m/w about her epigenetics research. I just love all the knowledge that comes along with long term midwives. It feels like such a privilege to get a mothers group with so much to share! Nice to catch up with turtlejane too. ;)