Homebirth General Discussion #14

[Dot Face]

I was wondering how long it would be before you finally discovered I was here too lol.

[ummAadam]

I dont post much and im a bit thick lol

i saw your name and thought it was interesting...then i hear a 'click' in my brain and im like 'oh Duh! im slow....'

[Dot Face]

No word of this on AM, my sis inlaw doesn't know I want to home birth .

[ummAadam]

Good idea i didn't tell many people either. Much easier that way.

[Cricket]

Congrats HotI!

I was just saying to DH that I'm in a few days I'll be 31 weeks (my ticker is off a day or two), which means 9 weeks to due date, which doesn't sound SO close, but that's also only 6 weeks to full-term. Now THAT sounds close!

And DotFace - I totally understand not wanting your Dad around. I'd find that very weird myself. My mom wouldn't really be welcome either. I'm a fairly private person, and having other people around when I'm labouring would definitely throw me off. I saw a homebirth video where the girl's father-in-law was doing the video taping and I was like "how weird is that?!" DH thought it was fairly bizarre as well.
Different strokes, I guess.

[Cricket]

In other news, I think we've settled a name for this bean. I won't share it yet, in case we change our minds, but it's nice to have that pretty much decided. I've been calling him by that name in my mind for a while now and I'm pretty happy that DH likes it too.

[HotI]

Thought i might be able to just quietly join the end of the list without anyone noticing, but nah. Meow, definitely going for a homebirth. Will scrape the money together somehow, i just can't even think of planning to go anywhere else.

We are still trying to get our head around it, i had severe pain last weekend and it was questioned whether it was an ectopic pregnancy. I had an ultrasound to check this, and thankfully it wasn't but i was also further along than i thought.

Have been thinking about my IM options. For those, who went back again, how did you decide? Was it automatic to go for your previous IM? Did you want to try someone else? I am undecided at this point, and (in a silly way) unsure about asking the ones i am considering the questions i have in case i choose a different midwife.

when do you usually book in? Hopefully Feb won't be as busy as Jan was.

Also, last time i was completely happy for DD to be at the birth if that s what happened. She ended up sleeping through it. She will be almost 4 next time, and at this point i have greater reservations. Maybe cos she can talk and will need greater explanation... i like the idea of it being all natural and kids don't need it hidden from them, but then i wonder do they need to know stuff so early?

DotFace, sounds you like have a good plan. Having some jobs for your Mum to do might keep her occupied so you can do your thing. Bake something for after the birth, even grab some apple juice from the shop if you think you want her to just take a break. i haven't wanted anyone in my space except dh, but i'm not sure what i will do this time.

[Cricket]

Also, last time i was completely happy for DD to be at the birth if that s what happened. She ended up sleeping through it. She will be almost 4 next time, and at this point i have greater reservations. Maybe cos she can talk and will need greater explanation... i like the idea of it being all natural and kids don't need it hidden from them, but then i wonder do they need to know stuff so early?

For what it's worth - I don't plan to have any of my kids at the birth, but we have read "Hello Baby" with all of them (it's a great book about a family going through a home birth together and it shows birth in a realistic but non-graphic way) and they loved it. I found though that the younger ones (2-5yrs) were much more accepting and nonplussed by the whole "the baby comes out of... THERE?!" thing. The older ones (7-9yrs) were a little more shocked and required more explanation. So whether you decide to have her present at your birth or not, now might be a good time to let her know how birth works. I'd definitely recommend "Hello Baby" if you decide to tell her now.

[Beatrix]

Hotl- I had my girls there (well they were somewhere in the house we still arnt sure where and what they saw!!)
But there we in the room pretty much the second after she came out I know for sure! Dd3 who was 4 still talks about the mess and how her hand got all sticky. I did notice through one contraction she put her hands over her ears but she doesn't like loud commotion anyway.

The older ones weren't fussed. We also read the book hello baby many times before birth and we had also watched a few you tube videos together.

[TeniBear]

Had my "emergency" scan today (ordered a week ago ) and bub is growing nicely DH was a bit anxious throughout though, because he missed the guy saying (very quickly and almost under his breath) at the start "well there's a heartbeat so baby's alive!" Bub wasn't moving much either, which contributed :-/ But yeah, all is fine, and measuring a day ahead - my original date, actually!

Now I have to go to that clinic thing on Thursday for the report I'm sticking with my plan to do all I can to waste their time

[PumpkinZulu]

You could also just not go, if you don't want to. There's no reason to, they're not your primary carer and the scan showed a hb which was the whole point of it.

[TeniBear]

Nah, I almost want to just to time-waste and be a general pain in the butt It's just further away than I thought it was - they've moved their main pregnancy care out of the hospital and I didn't realise when I rescheduled the appointment. I also want to get my hands on that report I know I'm not making sense but it all does to me

[Arimeh]

Another breech baby here!!! Had my 3d scan today - still a boy!

But yes, frank breech, toes above his head. He looks so squished up in there!! Why do my VBAC babies have to be breech and give me a heart attack until they turn - this is 3 in a row - my section babies were always in the right position. Grrr.

[Cricket]

Why do my VBAC babies have to be breech and give me a heart attack until they turn - this is 3 in a row - my section babies were always in the right position. Grrr.

Just take it as a good sign that he IS a VBAC baby. He's not going to be all cooperative and then cause trouble at the end. He's going to scare you now, and then be just as sweet as can be come delivery day.

[Jennifer13]

Another breech baby here!!! Had my 3d scan today - still a boy!

But yes, frank breech, toes above his head. He looks so squished up in there!! Why do my VBAC babies have to be breech and give me a heart attack until they turn - this is 3 in a row - my section babies were always in the right position. Grrr.

Sending him spinning vibes. When did the others turn?

Teni, I'm FB friends with a whole m/w group. Lol I think my m/w and I are pretty much friends IRL now, especially since she had her first baby a few mths ago. I see both of them every mth at our get togethers and I visited for lunch at her place last mth. The dynamic for this pg is completely different as a result. So don't feel weird. It's a very special relationship, the one you build with your midwife.

[Arimeh]

Sending him spinning vibes. When did the others turn?.

Both girls turned just before my 38 week appointment but they weren't in this breech position, they would flip all the time from transverse to breech and I never really worried that they wouldn't .

This one can't be budged already, even though I'm only 30 weeks - head under left rib, legs under right rib and butt on my cervix. So he's pretty long like his daddy I reckon.

Just got a bad feeling about this one...

[Beatrix]

Teni- TBH I don't think that you should go in there if that's the attitude your going to have. Wasting a professionals time because they don't agree with your choice of birth is wrong and they could be seeing to other women who want their care.
The hospital structure of birth is not the midwifes you will be seeing fault and it may not even be what she agrees with but they have to follow the guidelines of their work place so even though being a PITA might seem funny it would be better for both sides if you didn't go to the appointment. I'm not trying to be rude just honest.

Forgot in my last post to say congrats I Hotl!!!

[TeniBear]

Oh no no no, I don't really mean it the way it's come across I don't mean I'll sit there and be silly about it, I'm not going to take up any more time than I would if it were a normal appointment. (With a doctor, btw, or that's what the letter says. If it's a midwife I'll ask for the doctor.) I just meant it more like they want me to come in, so I might as well waste an appointment slot (which would go to waste if I didn't turn up anyway) and get these results rather than them keep bugging me about not coming. Last time I missed an appointment with them they sent me letters for weeks, even after I called and asked them not to, before giving up. Might as well get the results.

If they're perfectly nice and actually treat me like a human being, of course I'm not going to cause them any grief! I'll be lovely and hopefully they'll respect that I don't actually want to birth with them. But if they are rude - and having been through these people before I'm fairly certain they will be - then I'm going to screw up the courage to pull them up on it. More likely I'll sit there, listen to whatever they're saying with all my sarcastic comments tucked away in the back of my head, and walk out feeling like I should've said something.

Sorry if I'm coming across as a petulant child, I know how it sounds, looks, whatever. Like I said, it makes sense in my head but I'm having trouble getting it across.