I had a bad night last night. With pelvic pain and bh contractions. Found if difficult to get comfortable. I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus with my ds at 38w, and remember that last week of pg was harder than labour. I won't say it hurt more, but it was the fact that it was pain with no foreseeable end.

So now I'm getting anxious that the rest of my pg is going to be the same as the last week, but I'm only 34w along. And I think this anxiety was the precursor to me ending up with pnd. I just find it very hard to deal with loss of control over my own body, especially related to my past. But I don't want to be like this this time.

I thought it would be better this time, as I've at least been through it before. But as soon as I'm in the pain, I start stressing that I'm going into early labour and won't get my home water birth. And afterwards I feel like an idiot for overreacting. And then I stress about cortisol release when I get anxious.

So it shows that labour doesn't bother me in the scheme of things. More the late stages of pregnancy and pre labour.

I'm sorry for my rant, just need to get it out of my system.